Potterbits!
by KivatheDCWizard
Summary: A collection of random ideas for Harry Potter. Some comedic and silly, some more serious, some may kickstart ideas for full on fanfics. All involving the Boy-who-lived. Inspired by Redbayly's Little Bouts of Randomness and Sprinter1988's Bolts from the Blue.
1. Things Ron can't Unhear

Note: This series is inspired by Bolts from the Blue by Sprinter1988 and by Little Bouts of Randomness, written by Redbayly

KIVAHOLOTITAN PRESENTS: POTTERBITS!

VICTORY AFTER-PARTY

The Battle of Hogwarts was won. Voldemort was dead. Most of his Death Eaters and the creatures under his command either ran, surrendered or died. There were a lot of losses on the light side, but there wouldn't be any more. After it was over, people celebrated. They mourned their losses sure but they also celebrated that the worst was over. Sorrow over lost friends and family, coupled with high spirits of finally getting rid of Moldyshorts, a lot of people had turned to booze at that point. Including a certain Boy-Who-Lived.

"Oh, my freakin' head…" Harry potter said as he woke up. He remembered that after he killed Voldemort and snapped the Elder Wand in half he returned to Hogwarts…there was a lot crying and cheering and…afterwards he couldn't remember much aside from lots of Firewhiskey. He should stop drinking that stuff. He knew he was a lightweight.

"Harry, please keep lying down. Your chest is really comfy." A voice muttered. Harry ignored the headache and looked down to see the face of his long-time friend Hermione Granger look up to him, eyes half-open and a bit groggy. She had a look of contentment on her face.

Despite the fact that they were covered in a sheet, he knew both of them were naked. "Hermione? How…we…did…what?"

"If you mean we got together and then officialized our relationship with lots of firewhiskey and a good shag, you are totally right." She said with a bright smile on her face. She seemed to…glow of sorts. "Wish I had held back on those butterbeers and hadn't preferred to be plastered of my ass but I remember enough to know I had the time of my life."

"You're not the only one." Another voice said…coming from Harry's right. Another head has popped up from under the sheets, revealing another beautiful girl his age. He recognized the tanned skin, wavy black hair of Padma Patil. He didn't know how, but Harry always was able to tell them apart. "Boy-Who-Lives is certainly a Boy-Who-Loves."

Harry didn't know whether to feel like someone was going to kill him, or to feel overjoyed (which was stranger since the thought of being killed still hung over his head). "Hermione…Padma…did I really…you two? What is going on?"

"Harry, you are smarter then that. Obviously we were in both mourning and celebrating, we had a few drinks…we came clean with our feelings. We really wanted to act upon those feelings but even drunk as hell you were a bit too noble so Padma and the girls decided to help, but once you got started…Oh man, that was wonderful." Hermione said.

"Hermione…I don't know this side of you." Harry said. A bit of the memories of last evening were slowly returning. Oh yes, Hermione was good in bed. But he still felt scared and happy at the same time, and a bit of the grief of last night…how hadn't he exploded from all those emotions?

"You don't think I only read books related to school did you? I found some interesting books that showed several positions which we tried out…" Hermione said as she seemed to almost dream away and drool.

"I really want to read that book." Padma said.

"Wait…you said earlier that 'you and the girls' were helping me and Hermione…does that mean that…" Harry said as if he wasn't sure if he was going to like the answer.

"That they were not alone." Two more girls rose up from under she sheets. From Hermione's left came forth the Hufflepuff Susan Bones. Her strawberry blond hair was a mess. Her slightly chubby but hot and curvy freckled body was pleasant on the eyes.

"Yeah, we wondered when we were going to join the conversation without coming of as sudden or awkward. But here we are." Daphne Greengrass…She was actually one of the friendliest Slytherins, and the leader of the reinforcements, which composed of Slytherins whom weren't the jerks or bigots the rest of their House was.

"Granted, you were emotionally repressed due to the upbringing of your horrible muggle relatives and the crap you went through the last seven years. So you needed a push, and so did the bookish Granger." Susan added.

"But once you got started you seemed to be in bliss. We liked what we saw. You two were grateful for our help and 'rewarded' us. Damn Harry, for a virgin you were really damn good! And it helped you had a really big wand." Daphne said with a smirk that you could only expect from a Slytherin.

"But…I slept with four girls at the same time. It feels wrong." Harry said.

"Being too noble again, Harry? We approved remember? We wanted to do this." Padma noted.

"And these girls are basically our sisters in arms. They had our backs during the battle, and I trust them. With my body, heart and mind. We are basically family now. And for once in my life I wanted to throw all rules and consequences out the window and let go. We both needed it Harry." Hermione said.

"What are the others going to think of us? Are your families going to kill me?" Harry asked.

"Everyone was basically in a big orgy after last night, they wouldn't have to complain. Besides, you deserve this Harry. After all you've gone through." Hermione said.

"And while you are the famous Boy-Who-Lived and the killer of Voldemort, you are also an all around nice guy, so we trust you with us." Padma said with a bright smile.

"So…In other words. You can finally live a little. I certainly feel more lively." Susan said.

"What are you talking about, I am waking up in…" Harry looked around to where he was. "The Room of Requirement after finally putting an end to Voldemort and getting drunk and get together with four…very hot…girls…wait, why am I complaining? This is great!" Harry said as the knut dropped.

"Now you are getting in the spirit of things. A lot of people aside from us did." Daphne said.

"Really?" Harry asked baffled. He started looking around. He couldn't make out a lot of faces since everyone has cocooned themselves up in the beds and sheets the Room of Requirement has given them.

One of the beds, right across them, stirred. A groan could be heard as Neville Longbottom stirred awake. No longer a pudgy round faced kid, in his adult years he was now tall and muscular and looked rough around the edges. When he stirred awake, his bedmates did too. Neville looked surprised as those were Hannah Abbott (his girlfriend), Luna Lovegood (whom still had that dreamy look in her eyes), Parvati Patil and another benevolent Slytherin girl Tracy Davis. Parvati and Padma gave each other a thumbs up, while Daphne and Tracy (whom are BFF's) gave each other a smirk and a nod.

Neville and Harry stared at each other and their little harems and continued to do so awkwardly until Neville broke the ice: "So…you also got drunk on firewhiskey last night?"

"Eeyup!" Harry noted.

"You also wanted to get intimate with your girlfriend, only to need some help from the other girls?" Neville asked. He was blushing and Hannah, whom was even shyer and meeker then Neville was as red as a tomato and pulled the sheet over her face.

"Eeyup!"

"And you also got yourself a Patil sister and a Slytherin girl?" Neville asked.

"Eeyup!"

"And did it also took a while for you to sink in and realize that is actually pretty awesome?" Neville asked.

"EEYUP!" Harry said, putting more emotion in that last statement and gaining a goofy grin on his face.

"You know, both you and Neville had equal chances on being the Chosen One…But when Neville killed Nagini he also helped in Voldemort's death so you both were the Chosen Ones all along." Hermione said.

"He has a mighty sword for sure…Oh and Gryffindor's was cool too I guess." Parvati said with a smug grin.

"I think it was lovely." Luna said, as if they were talking about the weather. "Don't know why the boys took a bit long to realize things. Why do people overthink things too much. Sometimes you don't have to think, you just have to feel."

"I certainly felt it all right." Tracy Davis said as she drooled at the thought of last night.

"Okay, if things got this crazy last night…what would have happened with the others?" Neville wondered.

They looked around and saw some couples sharing a bed. They saw Percy, whom had picked up his romance with Penelope Clearwater again. Young married Bill and Fleur had clearly been trying to conceive their first child. George and Angelina, devastated by Fred's death had found comfort in each other. Then they found Ron.

Ron was lying on his stomach, and his red hair was how they recognized him. He made an odd snore before he scrambled awake. He saw a bulge under the sheets next to him and grinned. He nudged his 'bed partner' awake. "Good morning Hermione…"

"Er…Ron? I'm over here." Hermione said from across the room, at Harry's side.

Ron turned a bit pale. "Then who…" he wondered. It couldn't be Lavender, she was killed by Greyback. His bedding buddy woke up and tore the sheets of her. Ron screamed in a high girlish tone as he looked in the pug-like face of Pansy Parkinson. "PANSY? How…Did I sleep with a filthy serpent?"

Pansy had been screaming too. "Serpent? I have been sleeping with a blood-treacherous pauper!" Pansy would have been a pretty girl, if she didn't scowl all the time at anything that she didn't like (which is pretty much everyone) and made her look pug-faced. She also tried to sell out Harry.

"How did you even get back in here? I thought you were on the Death Eater's side!" Ron asked.

"I dunno…I didn't want to be escorted out, I broke off from the group but when the battle start and things went barmy I started firing spells around not knowing whom I was firing them at and I panicked…everyone was happy when the Dark Lord fell so I kept quiet and they didn't notice me…I shouldn't have picked up that firewhiskey…oh that must be how I ended up with…" Pansy said as she buried her face in her hands.

"I tried to end up with Hermione, not you!" Ron moaned.

"It wouldn't have worked, Ronald. You are kind of a prat." Hermione said. "You kind of left me and Harry in the middle of the quest and I haven't forgiven you for that."

"Oh come on, it wasn't that bad." Ron said awkwardly.

"We were nearly starving and looking for needles in haystacks while you were cozy with your brother and his wife freeloading. Not to mention that time that you turned on Harry when he became a Triwizard champion, and when you insulted Hermione in our first year that caused her to become a target of that troll…" Harry added.

"I know I'm not one to speak, but that makes you really sound like a prat." Pansy said. "I would have laughed at your expense if I didn't lose my virginity to you."

"Why doesn't anything ever go my way?" Ron moaned.

"You actually don't do much. Harry and Hermione had to push you into studying and while you have some skills, you don't push yourself enough to become a pro in either Wizard Chess or Quidditch." Luna Lovegood said.

"Hey, I'm not the bad guy here." Ron said.

"No, you are an idiot. Oh man…What are my parents going to think of me now?" Pansy whimpered.

"We can't be the only one whom got the short end of the stick…sure Harry with his superluck and Neville with luck that must have been given by a god taking pity on him got themselves four each, but it is impossible that I have it the worst…" Ron looked around. His siblings didn't seem to have bad partners. But he couldn't see his dad, Charlie or Ginny at first.

Until one by one they untangled themselves form their sheets like many others did before. Oddly enough Ginny crawled from beneath some sheets with a girl that Harry knew was from Hufflepuff…Sally-Anne Perks he believed her name was. "What the…" Ron asked. Harry was also surprised.

"I couldn't have Harry…and my other relationships with boys didn't end up so well…I got in a bit of self-discovery. And during my time in Dumbledore's army I found Sally and…" Ginny noted.

"We are happy with each other. Ginny is a wonderful little spitfire." Sally said, grabbing Ginny's hand and kissing it.

"Even my sister got a better girl then me…" Ron curled up in a ball and sulked.

"Somebody Avada Kedavra me…" Pansy said as she mimicked Ron.

"Can this get any crazier?" Harry wondered.

It was then that they found Arthur Weasley waking up…With Narcissa Malfoy besides him. "I haven't had that much Firewhiskey since my second honeymoon…"

"Dad, what are you doing with Malfoy's mum?" Ron screamed.

"Well you see…I was sad about your mother's death…" Arthur said. Poor Molly got killed by Bellatrix. But Bellatrix then was assaulted by the remaining Weasley clan. A skilled Cursebreaker, a furious husband, a dragonhandler, a studious son and the remaining twin with a cunning intelligent mind for pranking and a little spitfire taught by the DA, Bellatrix was quickly disposed of. Oh, and Ron was there too, doing…something I guess.

"And I was sad about Lucius." Yeah, the Dark Lord didn't like being lied to and made Narcissa pay by taking her husband "Arthur and I could relate. He was such a nice man, and I feel bad for ever insulting him. But he made me feel better. Man, now I know why he got so many kids, Molly must have had the time of her life." Narcissa said. "I loved Lucius but he was an idiot in bed. But you Arthur, hot damn!"

"I can never unsee this! Bad images!" Ron groaned.

"I wonder how Draco would react to all of this. He'd be horrified too I guess." Ginny said with a pondering look.

"Oh he is. Look over there." Luna said as he pointed at the blonde ferret in question.

His mouth hung wide open, as was his jaw. "Mum?"

"Hello sweetheart!" Narcissa waved at her son, no shame at all.

"B-b-but…and Pansy? You and Weasley?" Draco muttered, unable to comprehend everything.

"Don't look at me Draco!" Pansy said in shame, covering herself in her sheets.

"This isn't happening! This isn't happening! How can things get worse?" Draco asked. While Draco and the Malfoys redeemed themselves a bit turning on Voldemort…Harry couldn't help but smirk at Malfoy's misfortune. After all, the git still tormented him for seven years. "My mom slept with a Weasley, my girlfriend slept with a Weasley, how can things get any worse?"

Malfoy should not have said that. As from Draco's left side the shape of his bed partner from last night got up and loomed over him. Millicent Bulstrode was for the Slytherin girls what Crabbe and Goyle were to the boys, being of a bigger and burlier build. She wasn't hag ugly but she was not found very attractive. But now that blocky face of her had a content grin as she gave a sultry "Good morning loverboy!" Well as sultry as she could sound with a deep voice like her.

Malfoy was even more horrified. The others, minus Ron Weasley, Arthur Weasley and Narcissa couldn't help but laugh. Malfoy slapped himself. "Wake up Draco, wake up Draco! Wake up!"

"I assure you, you are not dreaming, my love. I am real and you have given me the best night of my life. Despite your little D you managed to thoroughly pleasure me." Millicent added. Malfoy began banging his head on the bedpost.

Harry thought things were getting a bit too hectic. He felt like something to relief the tension. "Well, I don't know about you girls but I think we should go for another round before we start to think how to resolve everything."

"Yes, I think another round of rhythmic movements of our hips for our mutual pleasure would be advised." Hermione said.

"How can you suck the sexy out of Harry Potter?" Padma asked.

"I think we all did that last night." Susan added.

"True that." Daphne finished.

"I'm going with the flow, so screw this!" Neville said. "Or rather, screw you four lovely ladies." Neville said to his own harem.

"I second that!" Hannah said, overcoming her shyness for some more of Neville's sexual prowess. She and her 'sister-girlfriends' of sorts.

Everyone else also went another round with their bed buddy. Malfoy was basically jumped by Millicent. As for Ron and Pansy… "Well, we may not like each other…But the only reason to resolve this without spellwork or killing each other is hate-sex to get it out of our system…" Ron said.

"I guess so. But I'll be on top this time." Pansy said, emotionlessly.

After that…things went rather well. Harry kept his harem, as all four girls loved him, he loved them, they got along and saw each other as sisters and family. Same as Neville and his harem (Luna was the most excited because she wanted a big family).

Oddly enough, all parents approved. I guess they don't mind having the two greatest heroes in the wizarding world in their collective families and thought it would also bring them more grand-children.

Narcissa and Arthur got together, and Draco and Ron were horrified to become stepbrothers, and they couldn't get away from their bedding buddies again since the irate parents of Bulstrode and Parkinson had them stuck in a shotgun wedding. The alliance created with the Weasley as a result of these marriages had the Burrow converted into a big farm which was used to restock and regrow supplies lost in the war, bringing the families whom lost their gold in the war back on track, and the Weasleys out of poverty.

The other Weasley's couldn't stand Draco, but warmed up to Narcissa. But Draco couldn't do a lot wrong with his hulking wife keeping him in line. He, Millicent, Ron and Pansy worked on the new Burrows Farm and were miserable.

But everyone else was happy, and through these harem marriages became one big mostly happy family.

Luna was just finishing a story to her children, nephews and nieces and sort-of-children through her sister-wives the story of the after-party that occurred after the Battle of Hogwarts.

"AND THEN LOTS OF SEX HAPPENED!"

"Luna, I think they are a bit too young to be emotionally scarred for life. You only get to do that when they hit puberty." Harry noted to his sister-in-law.


	2. Raised by the Lovegoods

POTTERBITS

RAISED BY THE LOVEGOODS: BOOK ONE

"But they are the worst kind of muggles, Albus! You can't leave them here, they are…" Professor Minerva McGonagall tried to get it in Albus Dumbledore's thick skull.

"The only blood relatives he has. And the only ones whom can make the blood wards work. It's best for him, not growing up about magic, and that there is an entire world where he is famous for something he did before he could walk and talk. He would grow up big-headed…" Dumbledore said. "Here he has blissful ignorance and is protected."

"But whom will protect him from them? They hate anything magical, they would hurt him!" Minerva nearly shouted, only holding back to not wake baby Harry.

"Nonsense, Petunia and Lily may have a few squabbles in the past but she'll certainly remember the love she had for Lily and…" Dumbledore repeated.

"She has no love for Lily left! There were countless others whom Lily would have appointed in her will besides Sirius. Remus, the Tonks family, Amelia Bones, the Longbottoms, the Abbotts…" Minerva said.

"The former two are denied due to their status as werewolf and relation to Sirius respectively. The next two have recently lost family members as well and are struggling raising the remaining kids and the Abbotts…er, I don't remember, but there was something." Dumbledore said. Minerva gave him the evil eye. "I am Albus Dumbledore! I know best, and I assure you this is for the best, and no one will get in the way of my plans, I mean Harry's safety!"

As soon as that was said, Dumbledore was hit with a cream pie in the face out of nowhere. A beautiful young woman with dirty blond hair then snatched Harry from a befuddled Dumbledore's arms. "Lovegood Bitches!" she shouts before raising her wand. "Fumos!" and a cloud of smoke obscured the scene, and by the time the smoke faded, she was gone.

"Wasn't that Pandora Lovegood?" Hagrid asked.

"Yes, Yes it was." Minerva said with a smug smile on her face.

Dumbledore wiped the cream out of his face and had a very dejected look on his face. Dumbledore thought of himself as a smart man, he had totally overlooked the Lovegoods, despite being in the will of the Potters, ever since Lily worked with Pandora Lovegood as an Unspeakable at the Department of Mysteries. Of course, he had underestimated the slightly…eccentric family. And he was humiliated for it to boot. "I can still put it right!" he said as he Disapparated.

Hagrid and McGonagall stood there for a while. "So…Leaky Cauldron? Few Butterbeers?" Hagrid asked.

Dumbledore tried to get to the Ministry in time before any paperwork was filed in but. "What do you mean, I'm too late?" the old wizard said to the clerk.

"Yeah, the Lovegoods already have filled in the paperwork correctly and it is approved. No magic can break those. Even if they had filled it in with fruit-odor markers."

At her home, Pandora was holding one of the markers, a dark yellow one, to her nose, as she said with a dreamy look on her face: "Mh…pineapple."

"B-b-but…the Lovegoods have a reputation of being…out there, how would they be able to adopt a child?" Albus asked.

"They are eccentric sure, but no test of St. Mungo's or any mind healer has shown them to be mentally disabled or unfitting for being a parent. So lawfully, and now administratively, there is no way they should have been denied, more so since they are mentioned in the Potter will." The clerk added.

Albus looked pale. Well, there goes his sixteen year plan of getting rid of Voldemort by sacrificing Harry for the Greater Good. The thing he fears most is…what will Harry end up like in ten years?

TEN YEARS LATER, KING'S CROSS STATION, PLATFORM 9 ¾

"Let's go over it one more time. Anti-Nargle amulet?" Pandora Lovegood said as she made sure Harry was well-prepared for his stay at Hogwarts.

"Check!" A bright eleven-year old Harry beamed, holding a necklace with a butterbeer cork up.

"Spectrespecs?" his adopted father Xenophelius Lovegood asked.

"Check!" Harry said as he lifted up a weird pair of glasses, one with a pink lens and a blue lens.

"Gurdyroot tea? You know it's good against Wrackspurts!" his adopted little sister, Luna asked.

"Check!" Harry said as he held up a jar with Gurdyroot teabags.

"And don't you forget…" Pandora began again.

"Watch out for Nargles and Wrackspurts, don't be afraid to be myself, have fun and work hard and make friends whom want to be friends because of me, not because I'm the Boy-Who-Lived." Harry finished.

Xenophilius hugged Harry tightly, and then Pandora planted a kiss on Harry's forehead. "I'm sure you'll do great sweetheart. Don't forget to owl us when you're sorted. Hedwig will always find us."

"Don't worry, we'll send you the Quibbler each week, and next summer we are going to look for Snorcacks in Sweden." Xenophelius said.

Luna hugged her adoptive brother, with her arms around his waist. "I'll miss you big brother." She let go of him. "One final secret Lovegood sibling handshake?"

Harry smiled and did as she said. They did their own personal weird handshake, which involved strange gestures like spinning while trying to swat invisible bugs out of the air, a small tapdance and using their belly's as drums, as they chanted: "Humdinger, flitterbug, belching Plimpy, banana slug! Sunflower, party night, don't let the Wrackspurts bite!" After that chant was done they hugged and laughed.

The whistle of the Hogwarts Express sounded, and Harry boarded the train quickly, waving his adopted family goodbye. As soon as he entered the train he ran into a familiar face. "Hey Neville! Why the long face?" Though Augusta Longbottom only got custody of Neville, due the friendship between the Longbottoms and the Potters, Neville and Harry were allowed to see each other and grow up as friends prior to coming to Hogwarts.

"Trevor got away again, and I can't find him anywhere. I think I may need to put that toad on a leash." He said solemnly.

"He probably couldn't resist the Wrackspurts. I hear they are abundant at Hogwarts and on the train. A delicacy for toads!" Harry said brightly. He then noticed a bushy haired girl with bucked teeth behind Neville. "Oh, who are you?"

"I'm…Hermione Granger? I am Muggleborn. I was helping Neville find his toad…" she asked, a bit surprised by the appearance of the other boy, whom was clearly…eccentric. "Wait, are you Harry Potter?"

"Last time I checked. I even wrote it in my underwear to check. Nice meeting you Hermione!" he said as he grabbed her hand and shook it heartily. "I like you already, you are my new friend!" Harry then pulled her into a hug.

"Er…thank you?" Hermione said. She didn't have friends growing up, being made fun off by others for her looks and being smart. She thought making friends at Hogwarts would be difficult. Apparently not.

"Now, off for toad searching. We start the school year with a scavenger hunt." Harry said as he pulled out a detective hat and a pipe. But one that blew bubbles instead of smoke.

"Where did he get those…we only learn to conjure stuff in seventh year?" Hermione asked.

"It's Harry, don't question it. He is a bit barmy, but he's nice. And if he likes you, he is a friend for life." Neville noted.

"Onwards! To the toad, old chum!" Harry said as they went looking for the toad.

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Not all the people they met were friendly. A certain boy named Draco Malfoy for example. "You'll find out some wizarding families are better then others. If you hang with Squibs like Longbottom or Mudbloods like Granger, it'll end up badly for you. I can help you determine the right people to hang with." He said as he struck out a pale hand.

Neville and Hermione looked hurt by his comments. Harry's reaction though was…well, Harry. "Oh, you poor thing." He said to Draco.

Draco looked at him surprised. "What?"

"I have seen many people with disabilities, but it must be really bad to be born completely without manners and compassion. It is a sad state. No worries, with how the medical sector will progress I'm sure they'll be able to fix you one day. Until then, take this Gurdyroot tea. It's good for the mind." Harry said as he shoved the jar of tea in Draco's hands. As Draco stood by baffled, Neville and Hermione tried to hold their laughter. "Now, if you excuse me, we were looking for a toad. See ya!"

Only a few minutes after Harry and his friends have left, Draco was able to move again and think again. "What the bloody hell just happened?"

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The sorting went smoothly, up until the Sorting Hat went on top of Harry's head. "Get me off! Get me off! Put him in Gryffindor, but please get me off!" the hat begged. After the surprise of the Sorting Hat's reaction died down, the Gryffindors were glad to have Potter in their house. Even if they had to put up with his weird quirks.

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The first Potions class was…something. "Potter, why are you preparing chocolate pudding in your cauldron?" Severus Snape shouted.

"Because after brewing an anti-boil potion there wouldn't be enough time left for baking a cake. No worries, I cleaned the cauldron before getting started on the pudding." Harry said as he scooped up some of the brown, gooey dessert and poured some in a bowl. "Want some?"

Severus Snape pinched the bridge of his nose. He had a whole routine prepared to bully Harry with, but none of it worked since Potter was clearly of his rocker. He doesn't even know how to reply or react to anything that happened in his class. He reluctantly took the bowl of chocolate pudding. In hindsight, the pudding was quite tasty. Though he couldn't be bothered to fully enjoy it.

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The teachers, among which McGonagall, alongside Hermione and Neville looked at something odd. Of course Harry was involved. The mountain troll that was rampaging earlier, was now rather docile, happily munching on some pastries Harry has given him. "He surrendered for fruit pies!" Harry said as if that would make the situation any more sensible.

McGonagall raised a finger, but stopped halfway and said. "Screw it, twenty points for Gryffindor, I'm going to my office, where there is a bottle of Scottish whiskey with my name on it."

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Harry stood in front of the Mirror of Erised. Dumbledore was there with him. "It shows us the deepest desire from our heart." He explained.

"It explains why it shows me with a ham and cheese sandwich." Harry said.

"A sandw-" Dumbledore said baffled. "Don't you see your birth parents?"

"They didn't love me long enough for me to remember them all that well. Besides, I have a loving family with the Lovegoods, no reason to dwell." Harry said, with surprising wisdom. "Dang, now I really want that sandwich." Harry said as he eyed his reflection, which winked at him and reached out with the sandwich to him. Harry reached into the mirror and took the sandwich from his reflection. "Thanks, me!" he said, as he happily munched on the sandwich, put his Invisibility Cloak back on and vanished.

A baffled Dumbledore was left behind again. "There isn't enough brandy in the world…" Dumbledore muttered.

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"Just give me the Stone!" Voldemort said, from the back of Quirrel's head.

"Er…nope!" Harry said as he tossed the Stone, as hard as he could, in the Mirror of Erised. Harry thought of just putting it back in. However, it didn't work out as the Mirror exploded. Quirrel-Voldemort was caught in the blast, his body destroyed by it, alongside the mirror and the stone.

Harry was just knocked on his back. At that point, Dumbledore and Hermione arrived. "Harry, are you ok?" she asked.

Harry jerked up suddenly. "That was awesome! Let's do that again!"

Hermione sighed. "Goddamnit, Harry!"

"That was…the only Stone in existence." Dumbledore muttered.

"Well, that must be real expensive fireworks I just made then." Harry said, like he was stating something obvious, like the weather.

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"But Severus, please…" Dumbledore asked.

"Nope! I am not teaching another year as long as Potter remains at Hogwarts! I am going to open my own apothecary and get rich with my Potions. Let someone else deal with him. Both you, and the Dark Lord can shove it for all I care!" Severus Snape said as he packed his suitcase and left.

There was a huge celebration in the castle, and that was even before it was revealed that Gryffindor won the House Cup. Harry had confuddled the teachers so much none of them had deducted any points form the House all year. So they won by a landslide.

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"Has anyone seen Fluffy?" Hagrid asked one day.

Fluffy had turned upon the Lovegood property, Harry on his back, scratching the middle head behind its ear, as the Cerberus' left hind leg's foot tapped the floor. "Can I keep him?"

"Is he housebroken?" Pandora asked.

"Yes." Harry said.

"Then he can stay." Pandora said.

"I hope next year, you bring a Snorcack, Harry." Luna said.

"So do I, little sis, so do I!" Harry beamed.


	3. Lucky Potter

HARRY POTTER PLOTBUNNIES  
LUCKY POTTER

James stared at his wife as he poured a golden liquid in Harry's bottle. "Lily, are you adding Felix Felicis to Harry's milk?" he asked.

"Yes. With the Dark Lord after us, we could use all the luck in the world." Lily noted as she began feeding Harry the milk.

"Is it safe? I mean it is Liquid Luck, but it doesn't last forever and an overdose can be disastrous." James noted.

"I improved the recipe. Potions prodigy remember? It will last a lifetime and has no negative side effects. This will drastically improve his chances for survival. I will do anything to keep our son alive." Lily noted.

"Well, if a permanent non-harmful luck potion can help, I shouldn't complain…" James noted. He then noticed his infant son was holding a Galleon. "Where did he get that?"

-

'Dang it!' Voldemort thought as he was blasted apart by a reflected killing curse. Damn mudblood Potter spawn must have put a protection on the little baby. As Voldemort's spirit fled the scene, a part of him that has broken of from the main Voldemort now sought a place to attach itself to, heading towards Harry.

"Gaweon!" the baby Potter said as he held up a gold coin in front of him as he held it up in front of him, the soul piece attaching itself to it.

"Oh great, I'm stuck in a coin and…gah! The kid is drooling on me!" the Soul piece said, stuck in a coin and as Harry Potter's teething toy. Luckily his suffering didn't last as Harry was later taken away from the destroyed house…but the galleon was left lying around. "Hello? Piece of the dark Lord stuck in a Galleon? Can someone please pick me up? I can't move…"

It would take years before someone found his galleon prison, a certain Mundungus Fletcher. However, the Galleon made Mundungus moodier and more aggressive and he and the Galleon were incinerated when insulting the wrong person in Knockturn Alley, burnt by Fiendfyre.

-

Dumbledore didn't see a mark on Harry as he left him behind with the Dursley's but thought the 'marked as his equal' part of the prophecy was more symbolic, rather then left with a scar. Dumbledore was utterly convinced that when left behind with his uncle and aunt they would love and raise him as relatives…by not talking to them and leave them as a milk bottle on the doorstep with a letter, saying that he is their problem now.

They didn't treat Harry well and they would often try to hurt Harry…keyword being try. Every time they tried something it always went wrong. Though they never learned their lesson and would push their luck. "Hey freak, dad gave me a new croquet mallet and it has your head's name on it…" Dudley said before slipping on the floor Harry was cleaning, hitting his head against the wall and knocking himself out.

"Boy, what did you do?" Vernon asked, seeing his son on the floor, dazed by his fall.

"I was cleaning the floor, he slipped on the soapy floor." Harry explained.

"Why you little runt, I'm going to beat…" Vernon approached him but slipped on the same floor and knocked his head on the coffee table, knocking himself out.

"I warned them…" Harry noted dully.

"Vernon, Duddikins, why you little…" Aunt Petunia wanted to hit him with a frying pan but slipped and hit her head on the doorpost.

Harry looked at his knocked out relatives, sighed, shrugged his shoulders and went to make himself a sandwich, but in front of the fridge… "Oh, a penny!"

-

"…you just walk right through that wall between platforms 9 and 10. Ron, show him how it's done." Molly Weasley said.

"Sure thing, mom!" Ron said happily. He and his family already knew it was Harry Potter. Dumbledore asked to befriend Harry Potter. Being friends with a celebrity, that would make him somewhat of a celebrity himself. He could bask in the attention that being Harry's friend was, so he could have an easy life, barely having to do anything…

"Ron, that's the wrong wall!" his mother's voice sounded, trying to warn Ron as he was daydreaming. WHAM! Ran right in the wrong wall, his stuff spread all around the platform and Ron being knocked out as he had ran head-first in a wall. But since it was head-first, he had no real damage.

"It is that one." Ginny said to Harry as she pointed at the right wall.

"Thanks." Harry said as he went to the platform. He also found something on the way. "Oh, look! A galleon! Must be my lucky day." Harry noted.

-

With Ron being knocked out, the first person Harry befriended was Hermione instead, whom was a much better influence on him, nurturing his reading and study habits. So when Ron had an examination at St. Mungo's and returned to Hogwarts, Harry didn't talk well to Ron's lax nature and Ron didn't become the friend to Harry Potter he hoped he'd be.

Harry's luck just was on his side. Draco Malfoy tried to steal Neville's Remembrall during Flying class and he got a spot on the Quidditch team. That time Draco tried to challenge him to a Midnight Duel, Harry refused as he wouldn't fall for such an easy trap.

Draco was furious and waited until one day he could curse Harry Potter when his back was turned. He aimed a spell as Harry went down a corridor. The spell left his wand, but it didn't go according to plan. "Oh, look, a Galleon!" Harry said as he picked it up. As he ducked the spell went over his head, down the corridor…

"Delivery of a Mirror of Erised for Albus Dumbledore!" a delivery wizard said.

"You idiot, I asked to be discreet! How is walking with a giant mirror down the school discreet!" Dumbledore shouted. The mirror, carried by the two delivery wizards, took the spell that Draco intended to shoot at Harry, and it reflected.

In a few moments, Malfoy was covered in painful boils and had to be carried to Madam Pomfrey.

-

Harry thought his luck had run out as one day he tripped and fell down the stairs. However, he landed on something soft. "Oof…Luckily Professor Quirrel broke my fall. Sorry about that, professor but thanks for softening my landing. Er…professor? He's not moving…"

Voldemort cursed as his host was killed and he was forced to flee. No worries, he could get a new host. He can't believe that Potter got that lucky…was Potter that lucky? What if he was onto him and wanted to finish him for killing his parents?

"Oh look, a Galleon!" Harry said excitedly.

No, the kid was just lucky.

-

He had found a new host, another former servant whom was in the castle. He thought Severus had become Dumbledore's man but he was just playing both sides. With Voldemort back and in possession of the stone, Snape thought Voldemort would be the biggest player on the board again. Luckily, unlike Quirrel Snape knew how to get past Fluffy.

"The beast is asleep on the other side. So we have a small window in between the moment the beast's enhanced senses pick us up and he is still groggy. Then we conjure and enchant the harp so he falls asleep again before he attacks." Voldemort instructed as they went inside the door on the third floor.

Shortly after Harry arrived in that corridor. "Oh, dang it, it seems I got lost…" Harry noted. Then he noticed something on the floor and shouted way louder then he needed: "WOW, A GALLEON! LUCKY DAY!"

Harry shouted that so hard Fluffy had woken up much more abruptly then Voldemort of Severus cared, and growling, barking and screams of pain and being eaten alive came from the other side of the door.

-

When the announcement came that Snape died next morning, the students cheered, celebrated and danced on the tables. The other teachers didn't like Snape and joined the students rather than berating them.

"Snape gone, and I found another Galleon, second best day ever aside from finding out I was a wizard!" Harry noted.

"Harry, why do you keep finding all these Galleons?" Hermione asked.

"I don't know, but I am not complaining." Harry replied.

At the Slytherin Table.

"Draco, there is a hole in your pocket." Pansy Parkinson told Draco Malfoy.

"Oh, that's why I keep losing Galleons all week…"

-

Voldemort cursed, now two of his hosts were dead and he still didn't have that Stone. He needed a host…someone no one would ever suspect. But then it appears that Dumbledore hired Gilderoy Lockhart, the famous author and hero. Great, no one expects him. He only feared that such a powerful wizard would resist possessing him with everything…oh no wait, he went down as a pansy. How disappointing. Oh well, he had a host now.

He had to stay clear of Potter though, because that boy had good luck but brought bad luck for him. Luckily he seemed to dislike the poncy git that was Lockhart and Harry should have no problems staying clear. "Professor Lockhart, there is a troll in the castle and Hermione is in the bathroom, I need your help!"

Hell no! He is not risking life and limb for a mudblood, certainly with Potter not around and ran for it. "Professor, the troll went the other way."

VoldeRoy MortHeart ran down a few corridors, glad he got away from Potter, his burning touch and inexplicable good luck. He oofed, only to feel pain as never before. Apparently the troll has, through Harry's dumb luck, not chosen to enter a bathroom but the corridor he had fled into and he was used as whack-a-mole, though he was the mole and he was seriously being whacked.

Well, there goes another host…and Lockhart's only talent, Obliviate, doesn't work on magic resistant trolls whom are too stupid to obliviate anyways. One day you just can't steal a Stone…

"Oh look, a Galleon!"

Now that was just insult to injury!

-

Dumbledore was surprised people celebrated Lockhart's demise as hard as Severus'…apparently he was nothing as good as he claimed to be in his novels and his lessons were worse then Quirrel's.

The curse on the post of Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher was horrible. Normally they only got sent packing at the end of the year, but he lost three teachers before Christmas (counting Severus whom was a temp before he hired Lockhart).

Since Alastor had just entered retirement and Remus was abroad on a temporary job he had to turn to the Ministry to provide him with someone temporary. Dolores Umbridge would be detested more then Lockhart and Snape put together but it was the only option he could get on short term.

Voldemort sighed as they revealed her. She'd had to do. She was no Death Eater but Umbridge would support his pureblood propaganda and make an easy host. He would get that Stone even if it was the last thing he did! Luckily he was immortal or it would be the last thing he did…

Luckily this time, while controlling Umbridge he managed to get past Fluffy, then through the Devil's Snare, the flying Keys, the Chess set…is Dumbledore going senile, setting up a trap or luring Potter into fighting him…No, definitely not the second. And they called him, Lord Voldemort, evil…

After getting rid of the troll (with extreme prejudice, since being clobbered by one left him with an extreme grudge) and now to Severus' Potions puzzle. Luckily he knew about this one due to having been in Severus' mind, so all he had to do is take the right bottle. He let his host reach out.

"Whoa…they weren't kidding about secret passages, but where am I?" the voice of Harry Potter shouted.

Shit! He had to get out as fast as possible. Quickly Umbridgemort grabbed a bottle, and drank it, planning to sprint through the fire, which Potter wouldn't be going through since there had been enough of the potion for one…But then Voldemort felt a pain in his chest…no, Umbridge's chest, where a normal person's heart should be, and his host fell down dead.

Damnit, Potter's appearance has thrown him off, and he must have grabbed a poison in haste instead. Then the final insult came. "Oh look, a Galleon!"

That does it, if he ever returns, he will order his minions to pay their funding in Sickles or Knuts.

-

Now Voldemort was tired of it, he just decided to possess the first Slytherin pansy he could find, open the Chamber of Secrets, free the basilisk, kill everyone in the school and take the Stone for himself.

"Wait until my father hears about this!" Draco said as he was forced in being a host.

"Your father is my bitch, and you are a bigger bitch then him!" Voldemort mentally shot back. "Now get back to work!" Nothing could go wrong now². His giant basilisk was just leaving the chamber.

"Everyone stay back, created a whole flock of roosters in transfiguration and I have to recapture them all." Harry shouted across the corridor.

Please don't let them crow, don't let them crow, don't let them "Cock-a-doodle-doo!" Basilisk dead…Now that's just cricket!

"Whoa…there is a dead basilisk in the bathroom. Also, I found a galleon." Harry Potter said.

That does it! He is going to possess Potter, then he also gets Potter's luck. Leaving Draco behind and leaving the little bitch to die he shot towards Harry…whom held up one of the roosters. "I captured one."

Now Voldemort was stuck as Cockamort…And he and the other roosters would be served as Coq-Au-Vin at dinner.

Why didn't he enter politics? No, he had to become a Dark Lord, instead he could have run for minister and allowed to screw people over legally…At least he couldn't die…

-

How fortunate, Wormtail has apparently been hiding as a rat in plain sight in Gryffindor. Trying to possess Potter was no option since that tends to go wrong so he possesses the rat. He could sneak by any defenses in rat form no problem. He would get the Stone, and once at full power he could finally kill everyone in the castle to vent his frustrations…

However, Voldemort forgot one thing: the world is a dangerous place for a rat…and Ms. Norris was incredibly hungry. One dead host…more unfortunately Animagi revert back to human upon their deaths, so Pettigrew's reappearance would clear Sirius Black's name, just like how the dead Basilisk cleared Hagrid's name.

This had a snowball effect in that Sirius Black took custody of Harry and cast out the Lestranges and Narcissa, taking their vaults and valuables as a fine for turning to the Dark Arts. Among these objects were a diary and a cup whom were destroyed. He also found a locket at his old ancestral home which was also destroyed.

The Malfoys were bankrupt and broken due to Sirius Black and death of their son, so no one could bribe the Minister into stopping the investigations of Amelia Bones, whom after hearing of the dead Basilisk looked further into the Chamber of Secrets incident yeas ago. This led to coming across the name Tom Riddle, and finding out that Riddle was Voldemort. She looked into his background, found the home of Voldemort's mother and grandparents, and had the ring there destroyed.

She also had Hogwarts searched head to toe, and with the dumb luck Harry has he and an Auror stumbled upon the Room of Requirement (and Harry found another Galleon) where they found and destroyed the Tiara.

Voldemort having fled and given up on the Stone to once again reside in the forests of Albania just faded away upon the Horcruxes being destroyed.

Dumbledore didn't realize Voldemort was gone and decided to continue manipulations by trying to set up the Triwizard Tournament, but through bad luck, instead of Harry's name being entered, it was Ron Weasley's. The boy died being eaten by the Hungarian Horntail. Dumbledore died choking on a lemon drop as he indulged himself after growing depressed over his failing manipulations.

Remus Lupin and Andromeda Tonks became the new and permanent new DADA and Potions professors at Hogwarts, Binns was exorcized and replaced by a competent teacher.

Amelia Bones weeded out the rest of the Death Eaters and had them arrested, then booted Fudge out and replaced him as Minister. She was the best Minister for Magic ever.

Harry had a happy life with Sirius as a parent, and Hermione as a best friend, and eventually girlfriend and wife. He even found another Galleon on the floor during his wedding.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

This one came to my eons ago but I'm only writing it now. Harry Potter being Gladstone Glander levels of lucky, good luck coming to him and bad luck happening to anyone else.

This is mostly a humor and parody based one so don't take anything too seriously, this was just done for a few good laughs. I at least hope it will bring enough good laughs


	4. Blood of the Dragon

HARRY POTTER PLOTBUNNIES  
BLOOD OF THE DRAGON

"Harry…is something wrong? I know you need to face that dragon now, but I feel there is something else." Hermione asked her friend, whom was about to start with the Triwizard Tournament.

How she could read him as a book. She has been a loyal friend for the past four years, never once did she turn her back on him, not even when he was mad at her for stupid reasons. But she was worried enough, and she may be mad afterwards, but she deserves to be safe… "I'll tell you afterwards, I promise it will not be a distraction during the task."

"Harry…just be careful." Hermione said as he had hugged him. Hermione had been the first person to hug him. Hermione had been the first one to show real affection. Ron had turned his back on him and was a liability and an idiot. Not a bad guy, but definitely an idiot. He was wrong (idiot he was himself), Hermione was always his best friend.

He didn't even care when Rita Skeeter and her photographer toady were taking a picture and thinking on posting an article on 'true love'. Because it wouldn't matter in a few moments. She is a nuisance in the grand scheme…With a heavy sigh he heard his name being called as he stepped in.

-

There was noise of all the people in the stand, either cheering or booing him, everyone thinking he put his name in the Goblet of Fire. It wouldn't matter in a few moments, he wouldn't miss them. There would be only two people he'd miss. Two people in and an owl actually. And both would receive a message, from that same owl.

He saw the dragon he was supposed to bypass to get the golden egg: The Hungarian Horntail. The baddest of the bad when it came to dragon. Extra aggressive, and his backside with the spiky tail is as bad as it's front. Harry and Hermione used to have a plan…she helped him practice a Summoning Charm. Despite the short timeframe she was never impatient with him when practicing. He only regretted what he'd do for how it would hurt Hermione…but he couldn't take it anymore.

Harry looked at his wand, sighed and just threw it aside, then spread his arms as to leave himself wide open. Everyone went silent at what Harry did. People expected him to pull of an amazing win, or at least him to fail and sent back running into the tent with his tail between his legs. But no one expected him to just throw down his wand.

Right before Harry had stepped out of the tent earlier, he found Hedwig, whom had delivered a letter to her, from Harry. He grabbed the letter and recognized Harry's writing. She opened the letter and read what was inside:

'Dear Hermione,

If you read this, it is too late. I have made a decision. I cannot go on like this. I had nothing in life. My parents were taken from me by a maniac. A maniac whom marked me, to be famous for surviving a massacre. To be the center of attention, one time their savior and hero, another time they drop me for even the smallest sleight.

Few of the adults would truly look out for me. My aunt, uncle and cousin hate me, beat me, abuse me and used me as a slave. Voldemort and his Death Eaters whom paid to get out of Azkaban try to kill me or make my life miserable. The Ministry can be bought with their gold and the few decent people are a minority powerless to stop the corrupt Minister and his toadies. Dumbledore is using the school as a social experiment and have me jump through hoops, making me fight my parents' killer and evil beasts like Basilisks and Dragons…He is a Headmaster, Supreme Mugwump of the ICW and Chief Warlock of the Wizengamot, yet he couldn't stop me from entering the tournament or protect me from the dangers from arguably 'the Safest place in the world'?

And the rest either follow Dumbledore blindly, or are as fickle as I said earlier. Only two people I know genuinely look out for me out of genuine care (and Hedwig). First is Sirius, and they tossed him in jail without a trial and he is on the run due to the idiocy of the leaders of the wizarding world.

The other person is you. I just…wish I could say sorry to your face for being a bad friend. I took you for granted, didn't listen enough when you said I had to read or study. I should have listened to you more. I shouldn't have been mad at you for the Firebolt incident last year. You were looking out for me. You were the first whom hugged me. You were the first whom never turned her back on me. And for that I want to thank you, for being the best friend someone can ask for.

Dumbledore acts in 'Loco Parentis' for all Muggleborns or those raised among muggles. But he won't get my fortune or estates. I had Dobby deliver a message to the Goblins. My money and valuables are converted into Muggle money and transferred to you, the person whom could use it most. Use it to get out of Hogwarts and study abroad and secure your future. You deserve better then to be in a country where they won't recognize your intelligence just because of your heritage.

And since it is now on a muggle account, neither Dumbledore or the Ministry can take it from you. I also ask you to take care of Hedwig. Sirius also should receive a message form another owl, thanking him for being as good a godfather he could be in the short time he was free and I could know him. I advised him to ask asylum in a country not friendly with Britain so they can't arrest him, and if the ICW can get involved and expose the British Magical Ministry for their corruption, he may actually get free and enjoy his life. He deserves it.

As for I…I can't go on. I can't live a life like this, expected to jump through hoops for the adults, doing the dirty work they are unwilling to do. I am just a kid. I shouldn't fight evil wizards and dark creatures…I cannot deal with the two-faced students and officials anymore whom claim to look out for me but have their own agendas. I cannot stand the pain of betrayal.

Hermione…I am sorry, and if you will hate me for what I am going to do, I wouldn't blame you, but I cannot go on. I don't know what romantic love it…But if I were to guess, you would be the person I could genuinely love as a girl I'd date…even a woman I'd marry someday. Couldn't say that to your face. I guess I am not Gryffindor enough. Look after Hedwig for me. I'm sorry.

Love, Harry'.

After she read through the letter she saw Harry in the arena, throwing his wand away and leaving himself open. "Harry, don't do it!" she shouted. But she wasn't heard from the distance she was.

Harry spoke to the dragon, if the beast even understood it. Even it was confused that something would throw itself into her lap like this. "Go ahead, end it. You have a whole nest of hatchlings going up and they need going to be some fried wizard meat to grow big and strong. At least someone profits form this." He spoke to her.

The beast didn't seem to understand, more confused as she just stared at Harry, as if it tried to understand what the silly little human wanted from her. "What are you waiting for, you overgrown lizard? END ME!" Harry shouted as he tore up and cried. "I got nothing left."

He locked eyes with the dragon, who now stared at him, not with animosity, and the curiosity from earlier was replaced by something else. Like it tried to look into his soul. As it tried to read the person in front of her. She then inhaled, and let out a burst of fire, but it was different from the fire she blew earlier in rage…it was bright golden and it engulfed Harry and the people in the stands screamed in horror…

If this was dying, it wasn't so bad. It wasn't painful. It was warm, but a pleasant warm, like being warm and toasty in your bed at night. He didn't see anything but the gold, like the color of the flames that hit him. "Why are you in so much pain?" a voice asked. It was female, gentle and ethereal. Harry didn't know whom was speaking to him. "Why are you in so much pain?"

"Because people want me to be in pain. People want to me to be whatever they need: a weapon, a performance, a symbol for something I don't stand for. I tried to endure, but I couldn't." Harry replied to the voice. He didn't speak it aloud, it was like he…thought of it and projected his thoughts at the voice. "Whom are you, are you Death?"

"I have been called before, but I am not. I am just a beast. I am the mother of a clutch, I am also someone they expect to perform…" the female voice sounded.

"You are the dragon I faced." Harry realized.

"It is true, young one. Though my name cannot be spoken or translated in human language…you can call me Echidna." She replied. "You have suffered so much, I can feel it, young one. Yet you endured. You were strong, brave…"

"I am not that strong and brave now." Harry replied.

"No one is infallible. Not even an apex predator like me. But everyone has a choice when faced with adversity. You can submit and let it take you down, or you can stand up and fight, stronger then before." Echidna said.

"I cannot fight anymore, I have nothing left." Harry said.

"You say that, but I can sense in your heart, and you know yourself that isn't true. There are those few whom still are worth it. Are you going to abandon them?" Echidna asked.

"I am not…I have provided them with a way out, so they will be safe…when I'm gone." Harry replied.

"Yet don't you care on the hurt you'll cause if you threw your life away?" Echidna asked.

"I do…but they can't…No one can help me." Harry noted.

"You cannot help yourself, you feel like you have to carry the burden. But it doesn't have to be you. Even us dragons pack together in times of need. Help is given to those whom ask. And those whom truly deserve it will receive it, and those whom are willing to ensure your happiness will provide it…" Echidna stated.

Harry let his thoughts run wild before he recomposed himself. The images of Hermione, and to a lesser degree Sirius, but mostly Hermione appeared in his mind, stronger then ever. He asked her to run and leave everything behind for safety, but foolish as he was didn't think if she would have anything left to encourage her to seek out said safety. "Can you help me, Echidna? Please?" Harry asked.

"I can, little one. And I will." Echidna said.

"How are you going to do that? Does it have something to do with the place we are in now? How does this work and why does no one else know of this?" Harry asked.

"Humans are foolish, they seeks control of all power and knowledge. So much they stifled their own talents and much ancient magic has become lost and unknown. Us Dragons have powers no one remembers…and powers we used to bestow on those few worthy. But the ones worthy are either no longer around, don't know about it or are exposed of by those whom don't want it known." Echidna explained.

"What power? And how will it help me?" Harry asked.

"The power is a tool, but you are the one whom has to use it. To shape, to change…if the world is harsh and unfair, you wage war on the world and create a new one. You will become like me, an apex predator, though in a different way. You will be one of a kind." Echidna explained.

"Then please…Give it to me. So that the suffering can stop…My suffering ends, and that no one will suffer like me." Harry asked.

"Open your heart and mind." Echidna said. And Harry did.

For Harry and Echidna it was an eternity, but for the people around them it was just an instant, and when the golden flames faded, Harry stood there, but he was different. His skin was scaly, his eyes were slitted and reptile-like, he had a long tail with spikes sticking out of his backside, and a pair of huge dragon-like wings from his back. As he took to the sky, he smirked, showing sharp teeth inside. He also had to large horns on his head, making him look a bit demonic.

Harry let out a roar that shook and caused fear among the crowd, feeling that roar in their bones and every fiber of their being. Some vacated their bladders and/or bowels. The only one whom felt nothing was Hermione. She was just relieved that Harry was alright. Pissed for his stunt, but relieved.

Harry then shouted in a voice he didn't need Sonorus to amplify: "A few moments ago I was willing to end it. But now things are different. I am not ending myself, I am going to end this entire farce. My whole life I have been screwed over by everyone but a select few, but that changes today.

I was famous for surviving a massacre that costed me my parents. It is a stigma I didn't want. I would have wanted a happy life raised by loving parents, whom are the real celebrities as their love and willingness to protect me at the cost of their lives is what made sure I was still here. And you all have tarnished their memory.

You turned me into an icon, someone to shove the blame to when things go wrong, or someone they can send at a problem to solve it for them. Someone they can shove all responsibility towards to so you don't have to take them yourselves. NO MORE!

The Harry Potter you read about in books and fairytales doesn't exist. The Harry that was put in an abusive environment and is forced to fight Trolls, giant spiders, basilisks and Dark Lords at Hogwarts is also no longer around. Right now I am Harry Potter, dragon warrior and won't put up with any of your crap anymore.

You people, except a few, disgust me. You either use your power and positions to use me, others are sheep whom let it happen and do nothing to rectify it. It no longer matters. Because while I didn't start this tournament, I am going to end it alongside every other farce that is the wizarding world.

This includes the Ministry, full of corrupt people whom can be bought by Dark Wizards whom used their gold to get out of Azkaban, and put heritage over skill. It also includes Hogwarts, with a Headmaster whom manipulated me and did nothing to fight the dangers his school hid as he sat on his bony ass sucking lemon drops.

And it includes you people, little shits all of you! You want me to either be the hero or the villain when it fits. None of you think, no one investigates, or have your own opinion. One of you comes to a conclusion and stick with it.

I am not going Dark. But I am not basking into the Light that is blinding you. I am going to cleanse this world. And don't forget, I am the monster that you all created." Harry finished as he flew down, and reverted back to human form. He then flipped the bird towards the judge stands.

He then turned to Echidna. Her draconic face couldn't actually do it, but when looking in her eyes you would feel her smirking. She gently grabbed the Golden Egg in her claws and gently passed it to Harry, then patted his head. "You've done well, Dragon Warrior, you found your strength."

Harry left the arena with the egg in his hand, not bothering to stick around for his scores. They were not important. In the tent where he came from, Hermione came in. She rushed at him. "Hermione…" Harry croaked, but Harry was slapped. "I guess I deserved that one."

"Harry James Potter, you arse! Did you realize what you did? What could have happened? What it would do to me if you…" Hermione shouted, but she started to crack, and cried, hugging him and burying her head in his chest. "Why didn't you tell me it was this bad?"

"I was foolish Hermione…" Harry said, returning the hug. "I felt it was my pain, my burden. I never had anyone to count upon in my life, so I didn't know how…But things have changed Hermione. It's going to be different…It's going to be better." Harry said.

Hermione lifted her head and her bloodshot eyes stared right into his. "Harry…"

"Hush…" Harry said, putting a finger in her lips. "I need to find out something." He said as he then leaned forwards and kissed her straight on the lips. Hermione was surprised but melted away into the kiss, wrapping her arms around him again as the kiss continued for…they didn't know how long but it was bloody great.

"Did you find out what you wanted?" she asked flustered.

"Yes…I know for certain I love you." Harry said.

"I love you too Harry." Hermione said.

"You are the first whom ever told me that, Hermione…You probably have a lot of questions, and I will answer them later. But not now. Let's just put ourselves at ease for now." Harry said.

"I'm all for it. But you are getting a bollocking for your little stunt later." Hermione stated.

"That's fair I guess." Harry said as he and Hermione walked out of the tent, hand in hand.

Though they were waited for by the few people they DEFINITELY didn't want to see at the moment. At the front was a certain red-haired idiot. Ron opened the big mouth where often quantities of food came in daily even a dragon would struggle to match, and only stupidities and sniping insults came out. "Harry, mate…I…" Harry created the armor-like scales around his left hand and punched Ron in the face, hard, sending him flying and knocking him out.

"I am not your mate, traitor!" Harry said.

"Harry, a word for the Daily Pro-" Rita Skeeter began but Harry just blew on her, and her quill, parchments and robes were bombarded by flames. When the flames died out, she was blackened and covered in soothe, her hair and robes were gone, leaving her in underwear (old-fashioned Victorian underwear), her glasses melted and her quills, paper and bag reduced to ash. Her picture-taking toady had enough sense to not make a picture. In fact he felt like tossing his camera in the lake, taking a coffee break and retiring.

"Harry, my boy…" Dumbledore, the manipulative old goat (or senile, it has to be one of those two) but Harry cut him off by staring at him with those creepy dragon-eyes.

"Never…talk to me…again!" he just simply said. And then he walked off. Dumbledore knew that all his plans have gone up in smoke as if Harry had breathed fire on them. Even worse, Dumbledore was scared of a few things, and Harry was suddenly on top of that list. "Oh my…what have I done?" he thought.

The last person they saw didn't cause anger or annoyance. In fact, they didn't seem to recognize the person they saw. It was a third year Ravenclaw they believe they had seen talking to Ginny a few times. She had long dirty blonde hair and dreamy greyish-blue eyes. She had some sort of radish on her earrings and a necklace full of butterbeer corks. "Er…can we help you?" Harry asked.

The girl then kneeled down before Harry, going down on one knee, one of her hands in a fist, the other hand, all fighers outstretched, on top of the other hand. "Luna Lovegood, of the Lovegood Clan. Our family has served the Dragon Warriors for eons. We have long awaited for your return. I am at your service."

Learning that, Harry said the only thing he could think of "What the bloody hell?"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

A plotbunny I can see myself continuing possibly in the future. But for the moment I just wanted to share another idea.

I love fics with Harry as a superpowered being or a special ability.

And a Dragon Warrior Harry is just so cheesy and metal it could not be passed up.

I forever support Harry/Hermione.

I don't have sympathy for Dumbledore and never will. He must either be senile or manipulative for what he puts Harry through.

While Ron had his good sides, I think Harry should have punched him for being a berk for so long.


	5. Two New Houses

HARRY POTTER PLOTBUNNY  
TWO NEW HOUSES

The Sorting Hat of Hogwarts was given the power to scan a young student's mind and see which House they would thrive him most. The Hat was never wrong. That is what he told himself. He just saw potential, it was upon the student to realize it. Sometimes it was easy to pick a House for them. Other times it would take a while since the students may have one or more traits of certain Houses.

One of those people is Hermione Granger, a Muggleborn witch. Difficult case. "You are definitely intelligent. But you are also hard-working and you are brave…Your sense of ambition is also great, but unfortunately Slytherin doesn't take Muggleborns. But where to put you?" the Sorting Hat said in Hermione's mind.

"It's a shame I can't be sorted in all Four Houses at once, can I?" Hermione thought back? It was a bit of a joke in her mind.

"The Founders never said I could…though on the other hand, they never said I could NOT do it either. You may be up to something little girl. I have sorted people whom could have done well in several houses, but being put in a house often stifles their other great traits…But if there was a House that encompasses all the best of the four…yes, that could work? How would you feel about revolutionizing the Wizarding World?" the Sorting Hat asked Hermione.

"Bloody terrified…but on the other hand, that sounds so fascinating. It would be a great social study…" Hermione thought.

"Yeah, sure kid. But don't forget to have fun." The Sorting Hat stopped speaking in Hermione's head and instead spoke aloud: "Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls. Today I have scanned the thoughts of an extraordinary youth, whom has traits all four Houses should admire. But to make sure she doesn't lose several of these traits by dividing her into one House, you are about to witness one of the biggest and most revolutionary ideas…"

Among the four banners of the Four Houses, a new, fifth banner, a black one with the complete Hogwarts crest in white on it, appeared beside them. A new, smaller fifth table appeared among the House Tables. Finally, a Hourglass filled with small white diamond-like gems appeared among the others. "I present, the House of Unity, where the students with strong traits that would have made them applicable to two or more Houses, will be sorted. Presenting its first Student, Hermione Granger!"

Everyone was surprised and silent. Dumbledore started clapping, followed closely by Harry and Neville, and soon the majority of the students and teachers joined in. Hermione smiled as she sat at her new House Table. She wondered if there are other people whom would end up at her table though…would she be alone?

"Come to think of it, we have had people sorted whom could have done well into more then one house, and then there are students whom have none of the good traits that each of the Four Houses embody. So Vincent Crabbe, I changed my mind, you get a new House too?"

Everyone stared at Malfoy's bookend oddly, while Crabbe himself looked even dumber then normal with his confused look. "You are not brave, not loyal or hardworking, let's not talk about your intelligence (or lack thereof) and no cunning and ambition. You don't belong in Slytherin!"

"But he's a pureblood!" Draco Malfoy shouted.

"Every house has Purebloods! Salazar Slytherin preferred purebloods more then others but it is not a guarantee for Slytherin. A second, new House will be formed for those whom have none of the traits of the four Houses, so presenting the second new House, the House of Troll!" the Sorting Hat said.

A sixth banner was added, a muddy brown banner with the image of a dirty grey troll mug. The sixth hourglass was not filled with gems, but instead tiny grey rock pebbles. The green trim of Crabbe's robes became grey and the new troll-mug crest appeared. He was still dumbly staring out in front of him, resembling the namesake of his house more and more. He was even too dumb to speak out his dissatisfaction, as he was having trouble processing it.

As he was guided to the sixth table, where he was laughed at rather then applauded. Dumbledore tried to be polite by at least clapping, but McGonagall stopped him after three claps. Dumbledore just shrugged, sat down and secretly popped a sherbet lemon in his mouth.

"Can the Sorting Hat even do all that?" a random student asked, the majority of what just happened finally sank in.

Dumbledore answered in all honesty: "Apparently he can. He is created by the Founders whom gave him emergency powers for the Sorting of Houses. It appears there is no clause that prevents him to create new Houses as long as it doesn't contradict any vision of the Founders."

"But Crabbe was already sorted…" Malfoy whined.

"The sorting apparently is only permanent when the Sorting Ceremony is completely over, which is after every student has shorted. I am sorry, but the chance exists you will not be in the same House as your friend." Dumbledore said. Only his sense of professionalism prevented him from suggesting Draco asking to be sorted in Troll House, though everyone else also thought so.

The Sorting had continued, and now the Houses of Unity and Troll had four Students each. Crabbe was joined by his best buddy Goyle and a girl called Millicent Bulstrode whom looked like the namesake of her House as well. And oddly enough, Ronald Weasley became the first Weasley to not be sorted in Gryffindor. "Can you believe it, I am in a House full of Trolls! I am smarter, braver and certainly more ambiguous then anyone!" Ron said as he stuffed his face with food, foregoing his utensils entirely.

"That's 'ambitious' you dolt!" A Ravenclaw whom heard him corrected him.

The Unity House had a much more colorful roster. Hermione was surprised to be joined by Harry Potter. Two other people whom she didn't know the name of called Rolf Scamander and Daphne Greengrass had also joined them. "I can't believe the Hat immediately put me in this House. I didn't even think I belonged anywhere. I had thought that I would end up in the Troll House." Harry said.

"You don't have to sell yourself short." Daphne said. "After all, you are the Boy-Who-Lived." She said, after popping a baked potato in her mouth.

"I didn't even know about magic until my birthday, I didn't even know what happened the night my parents…You know…people didn't have enough time to tell me anything about them and my relatives hate me and never told me anything." Harry noted.

"I'm sure you'll fit right in." Rolf said as he took a bite from a nice piece of lamb. "Since we are not part of the Four 'main' Houses, we can be whomever we want, we don't have expectations."

"He's right. And you must know, all four of us are in the same boat. We still have to figure out what this new House of Unity means. Even if we don't know, we'll always have each other to fall back upon…" Hermione noted. "At least I hope so." She said as she looked at her Housemates.

"Girl, of course you can count on us. We can be friends. I should be thanking you. Technically we can't disappoint our families since we technically are part of all four houses." Rolf said.

"Without the disadvantage to share a dorm with idiots. I mean, my family were Slytherins, but unlike Malfoy and his ilk we don't throw our name around and expect to be given or able to buy anything. They haven't worked a day to achieve any ambition they may have and they are as cunning as geese. It was the Merlin's house for goodness' sake. At least this is house is a piece of Slytherin that the Dark Lord and his idiot extremists haven't tainted." Daphne noted.

"People will stare at us, we are now celebrities for being the first of a new House, that is some more attention that I don't like." Harry noted.

"That was unfortunately unavoidable." Rolf said, pointing at Harry's scar. "But at least you're not in this alone."

"If you and Hermione have questions about the Wizarding world, me and Rolf would be glad to answer them for you. How to act and carry yourself, how to deal with windbags like Malfoy…" Daphne noted.

"Things that you don't learn the syllabus." Rolf said with a wink.

"Well, that's really kind of you. Is this what it is like to have friends? I never had them before, my cousin scared anyone off whom wanted to be my friend." Harry said honestly.

Hermione opened up shortly after. "Me neither, they thought I was a bossy, know-it-all bookworm. I admit I am passionate about my education but I don't mean to belittle anyone, I only want to help."

"Don't worry, you are among those whom value people whom have actual braincells…" Daphne said as she turned around to see Crabbe choking on his food, Goyle give him a Heimlich maneuver, and a spoon shot out from throat, right onto Ron's forehead, whom was knocked out and landed with his face in his mashed potatoes.

"So, House of Unity?" Rolf asked, holding out his hand.

The others put their hands on his. "House of Unity!" They all said together.

Dumbledore looked in interest at the two new Houses. Dumbledore observed Harry and he was delighted he was in good company. Dumbledore wouldn't have put Harry in the Dursleys' care if those Blood Wards were not the best and safest option to protect Harry.

With three jobs, Headmaster, Chief Warlock and Chief Mugwump, he had barely time to look for alternatives for Harry. Maybe he should start looking to find suitable replacements for Chief Warlock and Supreme Mugwump to free up his agenda. Could be difficult with purebloods supremacists trying to take the seat for themselves but not impossible…

He was disappointed at the youngest Weasley, though. All Weasley children shown great intelligence and resourcefulness (though the Weasleys are pranksters, he could appreciate the thought and effort put in those). He wondered is if it is an inferiority complex brought on by the success of his siblings, or that he was naturally lazy. Oh well, it may teach the kid some humility.

Anyhow, the two new Houses will take a lot of paperwork. Luckily Minerva always helped him. Some things don't change even when you are as old as him, and that includes the Dumbledore curse in that no one in his family can manage their paperwork.

How was he going to handle the House Points? Sure they will earn a lot through good answers but four students in the House of Unity cannot earn as many points as the hundreds of students in the other Houses…what about Quidditch? Harry may be like his father and love flying…

And the Heads of House…whom should he pick? Since there are few students, the Head of House wouldn't need Prefects to help manage them. Time rosters…Since they are only fourth students he could give them the same time roster as a certain House…Unity House same as Gryffindor and Troll House same as Slytherin?

Luckily he was anything if not adaptable and he'll figure it out eventually.

The Unity House was glad with Professor Sinistra as their Head of House, but no one missed the look of utter dismay on the face of Professor Quirrel when he was announced as the head of the Troll House.

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The 'new house for Hogwarts' trope has been done before, but I wanted my own take. I just wanted to get one more quick plotbunny done before I get back to work tomorrow;

It may feel rushed, but these plotbunnies are not ideas I have properly worked out, just random ideas I want to get the general thought come across before I can later decide to expand upon them later.

First time making not Dumbledore a manipulative asshat. That's a first for me.

FYI, all other students not named are still in the original Houses from the books. Malfoy is a blustering idiot with more bark then bite he is at least skilled and smart enough (though not by much) to still make it to Slytherin. I mean he could conjure a snake in his second year. It is a lack of a filter between his mouth and a brain and being a spoiled brat is what is keeping him down.


	6. Just another timetravel story

JUST YOUR AVERAGE TIME TRAVEL STORY

A HARRY POTTER PLOTBUNNY

Harry Potter woke up with a terrible headache. He looked around and found it to be dark. He reached out around it and found the space he was in was very confined, a very small room. "I'm back under the bloody cupboard." Harry said with a defeated sigh. He was glad that Hermione's experiment worked and he was back in time. He could have expected to be back here but he didn't have to like it. But the chance to do things over, saving a lot of people was too good to pass on.

In the future, while Voldemort was gone, the wizarding world hadn't changed, people full of sheep and pureblood bigots, and it created the same circumstances that led to a new Dark Lord. Granted in terms of skill and power Dark Lord Draco Malfoy wasn't as much a threat, but his stupidity is what made him dangerous as he launched attacks on the Muggle world broke the Statue of Secrecy beyond repair. A war broke out between Magicals and Muggles worldwide that had wiped out most of the human population.

Only Harry and his two closest remaining friends Hermion and Luna remained as far as he knew (others may have lived but have been in hiding and spread out too much to track). They decided to turn back time and prevent all this gobshite from happening. I mean, causing a world war that about brought human extinction just wasn't cricket. Well, living with the Dursleys wasn't cricket either and you could say about the wasteland of the future what you want, at least he didn't have to put up with the walrus, the ostrich and the pig in a wig. But his own petty gripes are outweighed by the fact he could prevent things from going to hell.

Harry waved his hand and with a little wandless magic unlocked his cupboard. While there is a Trace, it is put on the children only when they first entered Hogwarts when entering the Hogwarts Express. Explains how Hermione could practice all those spells without reprecussions before her first year at Hogwarts. And wandless magic without a Trace is even harder to track, only a powerful magical outburst could be tracked without a Trace after all.

First thing Harry did was checking out was the time, it was about four o'clock in the morning. Then the date...He was eight. Not too young to be fragile, but early enough to set a few things in order. First he took a rock from the garden. He grabbed a couple of knives and carved some runes into it. Harry felt stupid not taking Runes of Arithmancy in his third year. Ron was a bad influence in terms of getting some schoolwork done. Harry wasn't stupid by any means, but the fact the Dursleys punished him for getting better grades then Dudley and the fact Ron held him back made people think he was average at best.

But Hermione and Luna managed to awaken a love of learning and knowledge, without the influence of a red haired human vaccuum cleaner to hold him back and brought him up to speed so much he could keep up with his favorite Bookworm and Ravenclaw. Their methods of encouraging him and their reward system helped so much. If he hadn't been in his eight year old body he would have felt arousal. Hey, give the kid a break, there was no one left, the three became closer then ever and of course they sought comfort in each other. In a future that would have made Mad Max look like an utopia, a menage-a-trois was the least of their problems. Besides, they all loved each other a lot.

Getting off track, after carving the runes, Harry made a small cut on his finger with a steak knife to bound his blood to the runes on the stone, so that the stone copied his magical signature. So when he snuck out, Dumbledore wouldn't even know he was gone. The Dursleys wouldn't tell as they couldn't care less. Dumbledore was so convinced of himself being infallible he had ignored Mrs. Figg's warnings countless times, despite the clear signs of abuse. Dumbledore thought he knew better then everyone, despite the evidence on the contrary. His manipulations, need to feel important and ego made him just as much responsible for the bad future they had as Voldemort of the Malfoys.

So, Harry left the stone in his cupboard. Before he left, he grabbed some stuff from the fridge to make him a sandwich. The Dursleys may not have starved him exactly but it was close. And a sandwich with a chicken parm leftovers tasted great. With the bad future he came from and he had to live on what they found, something as simple as a sandwich now was heavenly.

"Boy! What did you do with our good knives? And who gave you permission to eat a sandwich? Don't you know how much a drain on our money and food you are if left unattended, we barely get by as it is. And how did you get out of your cupboard?" Oh great, Uncle Vernon, aka the Walrus had woken up. On the other hand, the walrus was a noble and majestic creature, no fair to compare his uncle to it. So he called him the Walrus-like Blob. Yeah, that'd do.

"You have enough money for all of us, you just stuff your baby whale of a son so full of food, he can never use a phone booth. He probably hasn't seen his willy in over two years, which is enough to declare it legally dead. He has bigger boobs then our math teacher, he got more chins then the Chinese phonebook..." Harry continued.

"Don't you dare to talk about my son that way, you little freak boy!" Vernon said, turning purple. It was a special shade, undiscovered, so Harry has patented it as Vernon Purple. Maybe he should rename it Walrus-like Blob Purple.

"Listen, I want to point out your cruelty, small-minded nature, your bigotry and the fact you try so hard to be normal it's abnormal but you and your family are of no importance to me and just a foot note. I got no time for you." Harry said as he locked eyes with Uncle Vernon. Snape was terrible at teaching Occlumency...and teaching in general but Occlumency and Legillimency taught by Hermione and Luna and their very convincing methods made sure he got good at it.

Legillimency worked better on weak-minded people and Vernon's mind is as weak as it got...aside perhaps Ron or Dudley. The Legillimency probe paralyzed him completely. He stood there as if the basilisk had petrified him. Harry locked his body and trapped him in his mind. He would be forced to relive all the beatings and abuse he gave Harry, though from Harry's point of view.

"Vernon? Vernon? What have you done, you little freak, I'll..." Oh right, aunt Petunia, the Ostrich-like bird! Oh well, just another Legillimency probe and she was frozen in the same way as her husband was. Moments later, Dudley, Aunt Marge (she was apparently visiting) and her dog Ripper, all frozen as statues with a little Legillimency.

Leaving the Dursley wax museum behind, he 'borrowed' some pounds from their wallets and went off to take a muggle bus to Londen (not sure if Dumbledore could monitor the Knight Bus or other magical vehicles but he didn't take a chance. After a bus ride to Londen, and quickly buying a hat in a nearby hat store to hide his scar, and then walked into the Leaky cauldron. Without his signature scar visible he was just ignored, which suited him fine. Harry smiled when he saw the two loves of his life at a table, drinking (the non-alcoholic variant) of butterbeer.

"Harry, our Harry?" Hermione asked. She was pretty sure of herself when making the calculations for the time travel ritual, and while she rarely got her spells wrong, she couldn't help but worry not all of them had gone back.

"Who else's Harry would I be? I belong to you two." Harry said. The two girls tackled him to the ground and engulfed him into a big hug and they had to do their best to not kiss in public, as they didn't want to draw too much attention as of yet.

"Luckily the wrackspurts you had in this timeline were eliminated when you entered your younger body." Luna noted.

"So, how did you two manage to get out of the house?" Harry asked.

"I gave my parents a strong sleeping draught, the same I gave Crabbe and Goyle in second year with the polyjuice incident. Luckily it contains ingredients that can easily be found in the Muggle world." Hermione said.

"I told my parents I'm from the future and that I'm going to go to Diagon Alley to enact phase one of our plan to set things right. I had to put on clean undies." Luna stated. Her lifemates looked at her slightly baffled, but shrugged it off. She could still surprise them with her randomness, but they get used enough to quickly snap out of their stupor.

"So, for phase one, let's go to Gringotts." Harry said, clapping his hands together for dramatic effect.

"I know we are also going after the Horcruxes next, but do you have a way to deal with the one in your scar?" Hermione asked.

"Oh, thanks to my new Occlumency skills I have isolated the bit of Voldemonkey and I'm putting him through torture until the soul piece willingly leaves me to die." Harry explained.

"Oh...what kind of torture?" Hermione asked.

"In that corner of my mind I force him to keep listening to 'It's A Small World After All', Barney the Dinosaur's 'I Love You, You Love Me' and other such saccharine shite." Harry explained.

"I know he is the Dark Lord, but that is just cruel." Hermione noted.

"It is not sadism if they deserve it. Now, speaking of torturing little shits, we still have Gringotts to go to." Harry noted.

"You know, I miss having boobs." Luna pointed out. She paused for a moment. "I am going to miss having sex."

"In the mean time we'll have to focus on torturing the dark wankers and the senile old goats." Harry noted.

"...especially the one stand where Hermione grabs her ankles and pulls up her legs to show..." Luna continued as if she hadn't heard Harry.

"LUNA!" Both Harry and Hermione shouted.

After finally to eventually get Luna to shut up about sex (for now) they arrived at Gringotts. Harry turned to one of the clerks. "Greetings, goblin warrior. May your enemies' blood color the land and your vaults overflow with gold." Harry said, having learned the proper greetings and etiquette for dealing with goblins.

The Goblin was surprised. "Greetings young one, and may your all your battles end in victories. How can I aid you?" the Goblin asked.

"I would like to perform a test of heritage and an update on my accounts." Harry said as he lifted his hat to show his trademark scar. "For me and my girlfriends, in private."

The clerk nodded and called towards another goblin. "Steelsaber, please take care of the request." the clerk said. The goblin called Steelsaber gestured for the trio to come along.

After entering Steelsaber's office, he pulled out some parchments and a familiar black quill. "A Blood Quill? Aren't those illegal?" Harry asked.

"In most circumstances, but they are allowed in certain circumstances like binding contracts and heritage tests. Blood never lies so it is the most sure way for it." the goblin explained.

"Sorry for asking, had a bad experience with one." Harry said. It would be a short pain and unlike with Umbridge he didn't have to use it over and over again to the point of scarring. Just had to write his name. His name turned from blood red to black, as several words started to appear on the parchment.

Steelsaber looked and read the words as they appeared. "Harry James Potter...Heir to the House of Potter...Heir to the House of Black? Okay then..." his eyes went wide. "Last remaining Heir to the House of Gryffindor? Heir to Slytherin House by law of conquest? Well...That is interesting. And by default, by law of conquest you can lay claim to any properties of his associated Death Eaters, the ones in Azkaban and the ones whom got out because they were 'under the Imperius Curse'." the Goblin said, making air quotes when mentioning the Imperius Curse.

"Though you are not of age and all decisions go to your magical Guardian, Albus Dumbledore..." Steelsaber continues.

"He did a piss poor job as a guardian. Can I emancipate myself by prematurely assuming the head of the houses I'm heir to?" Harry asked.

"I can bring out the Lord of House Rings. The magic inside will test if you are worthy. But for someone so young I doubt it...If they don't accept you, nothing happens and you will have to wait until you come of age. If they do...well, they'll let you know." Steelsaber said.

"Please do so." Harry asked.

Steelsaber had asked another Goblin to get the Family Rings. Four Rings, a red ruby one with a golden lion, a green emerald ring with a silver serpent, a black onyx with a griffin for the Potter House and ironically, a white diamond ring for the Black House with the symbol of a raven. The rings, once put on by Harry, all glowed bright as they accepted him.

The Goblin stared in surprise. "That is definately...Unexpected." It was to say that something like that hasn't happened in the history of ever that such a young person could assume a role as the head of one House, let alone four. The Goblin was quite understating everything. This was going to take a lot of paperwork.

"Now, if you don't mind, my lady friends would also do the test?" Harry asked.

"Oh, me first!" Luna said, bouncing up and down in her seat with her hand raised. She was given the quill and paper.

After signing it, Steelsaber checked the parchment. "Luna Lachesis Lovegood, heir to the House of Lovegood...and House of Ravenclaw? I know the test doesn't lie but I thought after the death of Helena Ravenclaw the House had no more heirs..."

Luna smiled innocently. She had learned from the ghost of Helena Ravenclaw herself that she and the Bloody Baron had a baby, whom she put up for adoption with a minor wizarding family due to it being born out of wedlock and the start of the falling out with her mother Rowena Ravenclaw. While the House of Lovegood had no Ring as it was a minor House, the Ravenclaw Ring (Sapphire with a bronze Eagle) accepting her settled the deal.

"By Eargit's _grebnex_." Steelsaber muttered. This was just too much excitement. Just let the second girl be far less exciting...He handed the quill and the paper once again. Hermione signed her name without a word. Steelsaber signed in relief to see at least she wasn't a founder's heir. "Heir to the Dagworth-Granger House, a family known to have produced and invented a lot of potions...split into the Dagworth and Granger lines...Dagworth went extinct during the first Wizarding War. The Granger line was rendered inert due to only producing a squib...ancestor on your father's side, but as the first magical descendant the line can be restarted, you probably will earn a lot of Galleons due to the patents of several potions..."

"Just one moment, me and Luna, as the Heirs of the Founders invoke a clause of the Founders. If one or more of the Founders' lines are rendered inert or extinct, the other family lines whom are part of the pact can either claim the lines for themselves or appoint a proxy. And Luna and me would like for Hermione to be a proxy for the extinct house of Huffelpuff." Harry noted.

Steelsaber sighed and just ordered for the Huffelpuff ring to be brought, and no longer to his surprise, it accepted Hermione. Steelsaber took a deep breath. "I hope you are in no hurry today, because it will take a while to get through the paperwork." Steelsaber explained.

The trio later left Gringotts after dealing with the administration and went to Fortescue for some delicious ice cream. After getting their sundaes and putting up some Notice-Me-Not Charms so their conversations wouldn't be noticed or overheard, they made a summary of what they have accomplished. "All Death Eaters are broke, and living of a stipend now. The Goblins are instructed to not bring it out in the open and have it imply someone is not glad with their conduct of the last few years and hereby emptied their vaults."

"So implying that Voldemort may be back or alive enough to empty their vaults...so they can't buy their way out of Azkaban again." Hermione added. "Due to their pride and arrogance, not to mention being torn between their fear for the Dark Lord and Azkaban...it means that they will make arses of themselves, doing like nothing is wrong and trying to continue to live out the luxurious life or convince others they still have it...only to rack up debts or fueds...eventually ending in arrest or worse."

"The Goblins seem to like that thought since most of those Dick Munchers don't treat them with much respect, and legally able to make them squirm is mana from heaven for them;" Luna said as she took a spoonful of banana split in her mouth. "They liked that enough to give you a discount on the rented cursebreakers."

"With Grimmauld Place, the Riddle Estate and Gaunt Shack being torn down and the Horcruxes inside destroyed or purified that takes care of half of Moldyshorts' anchors. We just have to get Ravenclaw's Diadem itself in the Room of Requirement before we start Hogwarts, and then he is no longer a threat. And I'm sure Nagini hasn't been a Horcrux until Wormtail rejoined Voldemort." Harry noted. "Shame we can't release Sirius earlier."

"But at least the House Elves of the Noble Houses under your command they can bring him food, drinks and products for hygiene, while using their elf magic and create wards that the Dementors' influence can penetrate, which should make his time at Azkaban more bearable until we can catch Pettigrew." Luna reminded them.

"And with the Elves acting like they are still loyal to thier former families while in fact they are spies, the Death Eaters can't act without us knowing, meaning that any innocent muggle or Muggleborn they may target are safe. Not to mention Dobby could obtain the diary for us..." Harry finished.

"I know those Elves now no longer obey their foul former masters and they are quite powerful but...I am worried for them. They still have to act, what if they are asked to punish themselves?" Hermione asked.

"I told them to pretend to punish themselves, even use some glamors when needed. Also to cause some 'accidents', making them think they have a stream of bad luck. I think the Elves are more then happy to make the lives of their former abusive masters a living hell." Harry said, finishing up the remains of his strawberry sundae.

"While I'm glad that those Elves don't have to take crap from nasty men like Malfoy, Nott and others again. But I still think we could improve the rights for Hosue Elves some more." Hermione stated.

"We will. Though don't get carried away like last time, do the proper research. And don't call your organization SPEW." Harry noted.

"Are you two ever going to let that go? I know it wasn't my proudest moment for picking that name..." Hermione said, pouting.

"But it's so fun watching you squirm." Luna said with an impish grin.

"I hate you both." Hermione noted.

"That's not what you said the night before we came back, I think that was our best bout of making whoopie yet." Luna said. Luna then looked sad. "I hope the next few years go by because I really want to lose my virginity again to you two and have some hot steamy-"

"LUNA!" Both Harry and Hermione shouted.

"Anyhow, the only thing left to do is get our NEWTs. The International ones." Hermione noted. Magical Britain was so backwards and Dumbledore has mocked up the educational system so much the NEWTs of Brittain are not valid in the rest of Europe. Purebloods found the syllabus too hard, and didn't feel like putting the effort if their name and riches would give them any job they wanted so it was toned down. And with the likes of what Dumbledore hired, like Snape, Quirrell, Binns ect. It was no wonder.

"I am confused, why are we going for our NEWTS and then go to Hogwarts? I know we want Pettigrew and the Diadem but..." Luna asked.

"Because we are going to make a few people's lives a living hell, like Snape's, Dumbledore's, the Death eater's children, mostly Malfoy..." Harry said with a sadistic grin, but it turned more pleasant as he continued: "But also to make better friendships in this new timeline."

"Not Ron. He is not malicious, but he is an idiot and a liability." Hermione said.

"And he is the one whom invented the nickname 'Loony Lovegood'. And he passed that on to the rest of the school as soon as I set foot in it." Luna noted. "Can I make his life a living hell?"

"Only a little. He is not as bad as the rest of our targets." Harry noted.

"Only a little, so do I take the battery acid or the wood chipper?" Luna wondered.

"Luna!" Both Harry and Hermione shouted again.

"Just kidding..." Luna said with an impish grin, but continued on in her mind. "However..."

"I think that covers about everything we do before we go to Hogwarts...are we forgetting something?" Hermione noted.

"I feel like I'm forgetting something but what?" Harry noted.

All the way back on Privet Drive, the petrified Dursleys were still standing there. No one has as of yet missed them (they were not well liked) or checked up on them (not even Dumbledore, whose devices are still fooled by the Rune Stone). It would take a while before anyone would find them. This was especially unpleasant for the Dursleys. As Marge's mouth was wide open as she was petrified and bugs would crawl in. Not to mention there is a nasty side effect from being petrified through mind-probes too long...and that set in at this very moment as the Dursleys' bladders and bowels all evacuated themselves.

"I'm sure it wasn't that important." Harry decided.

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Another plotbunny I had lying around for a while. I wasn't able to finish it up this weekend due to life sucking. However, today, during my lunch break i was able to finish it.

Time travel stories are a common and popular trope in Harry potter fanfics, either Harry, Hermione or both traveling back in time to set things right and make the future better.

This one is a more comedic take, in which the heroes will dick around and make fun on some of the less liked characters.

It is loosely inspired by one of my fav Harry Potter fics Faery Heroes on : s/8233288/1…

But the only thing I'm directly taking over from that fic is having a polyamorous relationship between Harry, hermione and Luna.

Ron and Dumbledore are not portrayed as villains, just big idiots that needs straigthening out. Not sure if they have to be fully ruined.

But others like Draco, Snape, Voldemort and Umbridge...Open season!

Of all the plotbunnies written so far, I want to do a follow up to this one the most, mostly because I have a few funny jokes for this comedic fic.

The comedy isn't as strong in this chapter yet but it is serving as a prologue...at least that at least you all get some joy out of it.


	7. Tiger Lily

TIGER LILY

A HARRY POTTER PLOTBUNNY

Lily Potter was in her cottage in Godric's Hollow with her husband, with Sirius Black and Peter Pettigrew. They had a plan, have Peter be the Secret Keeper and in hiding, while Sirius acts like the decoy to throw off the Death Eaters. Lily was ready to cast the Fidelius Charm, raising her wand. However, something happened before she could finish. She grabbed her head and dropped to her knees as images filled her head.

The images were about a young boy whom looked like James...only with her eyes. Could it be...Harry? Is that her sister and fat walrus brother-in-law? It couldn't be, she would never let them near her boy. What were they doing? Beating him, starving him, treating him as an elf. No! She had clearly stated in her will to not have him go there...Where was Sirius, Alice and Frank Longbottom, Andromeda Tonks, Amelia Bones...one of them should have taken Harry.

She then saw flashes of Harry at school...at least he should be safe...wait, is that Severus? What is he doing to her boy? How dare he...A troll? A cerberus? A basilisk? Dementors? A freakin' Dragon? Wait, whom made that toad bitch of an Umbridge teacher? What the hell is Dumbledore doing? Absolutely nothing. What...He sent her son out to die...he didn't teach him anything, he didn't do jack shit.

His boy survived...But no, things weren't better, even with the Dark Lord gone the Wizarding World was so backwards, full of bigots and sheep...it was all for nothing. A new war with a new Dark Lord...exposing the Wizards to the Muggle world, a war of apocalyptic proportions...the images...his little boy...a warning from the future. He sent her a warning.

"Lily? Lily-flower? Are you all right?" James asked, worried for his wife, whom was down on her knees and looking quite ill.

But Lily recovered and she stood up, her teeth gritting in anger and her green eyes turned a Killing Curse-type of green. She raised her wands, but instead of the Fidelius, she cast a different spell at Wormtail. The sleeves of his arms were torn off, exposing the Dark Mark on his left lower arm. "I-I-I can explain." Wormtail stammered, the coward trying to save his arse. But it wouldn't work.

James and Sirius stood there in disbelief, before Lily started throwing non-lethal but very painful hexes at Wormtail, striking him down and pelting him over and over with the painful magic. "You bastard! You traitor! We saw you as a brother, but you have been selling us out." She said, repeating the word "Bastard a few times over as she kept sending painful curses at Wormtail. Sirius and James, while suprised to see Peter having a Dark Mark, knew better then anyone not to get in Lily's way when she was in 'Tiger Lily' mode.

After Lily was sure Wormtail was disabled, she stunned him, bound him in conjured ropes and created a Patronus. It was a tigress. It had changed to a doe after falling in love with James, but now due to her emotional state it had turned back into its original form. "Warn the Order. I want a gathering, and I want everyone there. There are a few words to be had." she instructed the giant ethereal feline, which shot off out of the house and into the distance.

"Lily-Flower, can you explain what the heck is going on?" James said, completely baffled.

"I got a vision...from the future. I know it sounds strange...But I saw what Peter truely was. I saw what he would do in the future. I see how his actions would lead to the suffering of our son." Lily said.

James and Sirius both knew Lily wouldn't lie or joke about the safety of little Harry. Sirius, whom hadn't spoken a word since the mess started, asked: "Can you please explain."

Lily explained everything she saw...at first she only had seen glimpses, but the memories of the future had now settled so she could more clearly recall anc access them. Everything from the betrayal, to her and James' death, Sirius being arrested and sent to Azkaban without a trial, Dumbledore's manipulations in sending Harry to the Dursleys, Harry's suffering at those monstrous Muggles' hands...his seven years of hardship at Hogwarts, jumping through hoops for Dumbledore's plans, Harry one time being praised, another time hated by the finicky public...the dark future that awaited them.

James and Sirius almost collapsed to their knees as well if they hadn't conjured chairs halfway through the tale. Both were taking it hard. None of them had interrupted Lily. But now she was more or less done, Sirius started to speak: "My brother...poor Regulus...he didn't die a Death Eater...he died trying to take out the Dark Lord's Horcrux..." Sirius always regretted being unable to save his little brother from his parents' teachings, the bigots. But Regulus had goodness in him. He died a hero.

But some other things started to catch up. Severus Snape...little Snivelus. Sirius had regretted picking on Snape and tricking him into seeing Moony in his werewolf form. Granted he didn't think Snivellus would be stupid enough to do so. But after what he heard, what the greasy git has done to his godson, how his last action was sending his godson to his death, those regrets faded as his anger started to overcome him. "I am going to kill Snivellus and the old goat protecting him!"

Sirius got up, but Lily waved her wand and Sirius was forced back in his chair. "Sit down! In the vision you had your temper cloud your judgement and go after the rat, setting the events in motion that got you arrested." Lily noted. "I know I am temperamental myself, but we don't need Gryffindor brashness, we need Ravenclaw smarts and Slytherin Cunning to pull off what we're going to do."

"Yes, I'm sorry, I lost myself for a moment Lily." Sirius said, calming down.

James had taken a bit longer to process and would have given in to his anger like Sirius was if Lily hadn't put the old mutt straigth. "Lily, we are going to need plans, but you were always the brains of our duo. Where do we start?"

"We cast the Fidelius. Unlike what Dumbledore said, we don't need an outside, but we can be our own Secret Keepers. That way we will not be found when we make our preparations. And the next part is the meeting I have asked for. You are going to like that part, we are going to cause mayhem and chaos in the ranks, and I need you to tap into your Marauder sides for that."

"Lily, I love it when you talk like that and wants to make me ravage you right here, right now." James said with a grin.

"James, not with people around...and not when Harry can hear us. He is too young to be traumatized by tales about our sex lives. We need to do that when he hits puberty." Lily said. At least she felt hopeful for the future, enough to make a small joke. She turned to the bound, stunned and hurt Peter. "But first we need to deliver a rat to our friend Amelia."

In the next Order of the Phoenix meeting, hell would break loose. Dumbledore, in his standard (and to Lily's opinion obnoxious) grandfatherly persona, started to ask questions. "Lily, you called for a meeting, and said it was dire. What seems to be the problem?"

"The problem was that you lied to us about the Fidelius Charm." she said. This raised a few whispers and caused a few gasps of surprise. "You said the owners of the place under the Fidelius could not be Secret Keepers themselves. But we can be, and unless I tell anyone we will be hidden. But why the need to lie? We almost had chosen Pettigrew as a Secret Keeper...Until we found out he had the Dark Mark!" That caused even more uproar.

Dumbledore raised his hand to silence the crowd. "Now, Lily, I have not lied, merely implied it was best to pick someone but yourselves. Otherwise you'd never be able to leave. Besides, with the rumors of a Secret Keeper, Voldemort would follow up on them and would have him act in a more predictable fashion and allow him to play into our hands. As for Peter, I was not aware of his change of sides, and it is unfortunate to hear. I had high hopes for him." Dumbledore said calmly.

"Oh so you had a plan using us as bait? If you had a plan, didn't you see it fit to at least warn us to be part of it? If we are risking our lives we best have the necessary information. We are willing to risk ourselves for innocent people but we cannot do that when flying blind!" James added angrily.

"It was sensitive information and I needed everyone to act as natural as poss-" Dumbledore said, but he was interrupted.

"When it concerns us, the lives of our family, our baby!" Lily growled. "Even if you couldn't share it all, you could have dropped a hint! You want us to die for a needless cause? Is this about the prophecy, what are your plans for us, for our son?" Lily asked.

Dumbledore's lips thinned. Couldn't that obnoxious Muggleborn witch stop questioning him. He was Albus Dumbledore, he knows what is best. Sometimes his methods may seem cruel for the close-minded people whom are unfortunately not smart enough to see the big picture, but it would eventually result in a golden age? You have to break eggs to make an omelette after all. "I cannot go into that, because that information is too important."

"If we are to put our lives on the line, we cannot be kept into the dark, that is sending pigs to the slaughter. Yes, some info needs to be kept secret, but too little information is also the cause of many deaths in a war. You hold us back on info, you ignore that other people may have other ideas, you even tell us to hold back in a fight with Death Eaters. We aren't winning this war by stunning them, they just buy their way back out of prison. No, these people need to be taken down hard!" Lily basically shouted.

"Mrs. Potter, if you do that, you are as bad as them. To have no forgiveness is the first sign of turning dark!" Dumbledore argued.

"No it isn't. This isn't like with the Aurors where we just stun people whom trade in illegal means. This is an actual war. And the Death Eaters are murderers, rapists...do they deserve forgiveness? Forgiveness is given to those whom earned it, whom regretted their mistake and wish to atone. These bastards don't have the conviction to stand up for their beliefs and show their faces. They don't regret their mistakes, they relish in it." James added.

"But if we take the Dark Lord out of the picture then they are free from his bad influence and they can become upstanding members of society again..." Dumbledore argued.

"Moldyshorts was not the first Dark Lord and won't be the last, and most of his Death Munchers were Dark even before joining the Dark Lord. The only thing the Dark Lord did is giving them more aggressive methods to further their agendas. I can know, I know my cousins Bella and Cissy, they were always rotten, and they are rotten now. Sometimes people are just evil because that is what they are, not everyone will seek redemption when offered. And we'd rather protect the innocent, not sacrifice them to forgive the guilty." Sirius barked, harder then he was in his Animagus Form.

"Enough!" Dumbledore roared. "It may seem hard to think any of these Death Eaters as misguided souls but anyone deserves a chance and my methods may seem questionable, but everything I do is for the Greater Good and if you can give me the benefit of the doubt and ask you to trust me."

"Unlike the rest of the Wizarding World, your word is not enough for us." Lily said. "I quit the Order of the Phoenix, and I will start my own group, one that will do what you are unwilling to do and put an effective end to this war."

"As do I!" James said, standing by his wife.

"And me as well." Sirius said.

Dumbledore kept calm but was seething inside. "I cannot force you to stay, but I am warning you, you are all going down dark paths and I hate for us to be on opposite sides."

"Because we refuse to be your puppets doesn't mean we are dark. And maybe you should ask if you aren't blinded by your own Light you don't see your own darkness, old man!" James spat.

"I am quitting too!" the voice of Frank Longbottom sounded.

"And me too! The prophecy...It could have gone about my little Neville. And with that traitor of a rat so close to them...it could have been my boy whom was in danger. No, I won't be risking our son and his future for you." Alice Longbottom added. James and Lily smiled, they could count on the Longbottoms to do the right thing.

The Prewett twins, Fabian and Gideon also spoke to each other. "What do you say, Gibian, work for the Tiger Lily and actually get shit done instead of listening to the whiskered old wanker?"

"You read my mind, Fadeon, my less intelligent and handsome twin." Lily was reminded of the Fred and George in the future from her visions. She was sure they got their jokester spirit and sense of right from the Prewett twins.

"No, I forbid you!" Molly Weasley, née Prewett said. "How dare you turn your backs on Dumbledore? He is a great man, he knows what is best. If he says it is for something good whom are we to question that?" Unlike her brothers she was a huge Dumbledore supported and though the sun shone out of the old man's arse. While Lily remembered her being on the side of the Light from Harry's vision, she was overbearing, bossy and thought she and Dumbles were always right, never considering other's opinions. Also she has spoken so casually about love potions that made Lily scared and worried. No wonder her oldest sons left the country as soon as they were or age and employed.

"Molly, your brothers are adults, they can form their own thoughts and opinions." Arthur Weasley told his wife. Lily remembered while he was mild mannered, he was much fairer and reasonable then his wife. "And they have a point. I have lost my parents and my brother Bilius to the Death Eaters...I cannot let them rampage as they do, just sit here and do nothing."

"Arthur Septimus Weasley, don't you talk back to me..." Molly growled at her husband.

"I normally don't...to keep the peace and because I love you, Molly. But that doesn't mean I agree with you, and I will not be bullied in standing down while the monsters whom have killed my family are still out there and my family honor demands satisfaction. I don't want them to go after our kids too, so I'll strike back before they can do."

"But Dumbledore..." Molly argued.

"Is just a man. A powerful and smart man, but still human. And any human can be wrong. I'm sorry Molly." Arthur said as he left her side and now joined the group that was forming behind Lily and James. It now consisted of the Potters, Sirius, the Longbottoms, Arthur, the Prewett brothers, Aurors Alastor Moody, Hestia Jones and Kingsley Shacklebolt and a few others.

There was one more James, Lily and Sirius hoped to have things see their way. "Remus...Moony...Old friend. I hate to ask you to choose. But please, pick what is right, instead of easy." James begged Lupin.

Lupin was torn. James, Sirius and Lily were like family. But he owed so much to Dumbledore, the man whom gave him a chance at education when no one else wanted the young werewolf at Hogwarts. And Lupin felt Dumbledore gave him purpose. It was so difficult but so close. "I'm sorry James, Lily, Sirius...But I can't..."

The Potters' faces and Sirius' hardened. They already had witnessed the betrayal of one brother, the betrayal of a second was hard, but for some reason unsurprising. Lily had seen the future, and Remus was prevented from seeking out Harry at the Dursleys just because Dumbledore asked him to not interfere,a nd he complied. He also didn't tell Harry during his third year what his real relation to James and Lily was until later. Remus had put Dumbledore's orders above Harry's well being and they couldn't unfortunately trust him because of that. Maybe that's why the betrayal didn't hurt as much this time. "We understand Mr. Lupin." Lily said coldly, no longer referring him with any familiarity.

"Professor McGonagall. I know you have a great deal of respect for Dumbledore, but I like to believe that you also always do what is right. Where do you stand?" James asked. James was told by Lily that while McGonagall cared for Harry, she always was easily manipulated and dissuaded by Dumbledore to do things like not stopping Snape from bullying students, not give heed to the warnings about the Philosopher's Stone or object Harry's placement with the Dursleys hard enough.

McGonagall didn't even answer, unlike Lupin had done earlier. James had looked up as a role model to the woman, moreso when he learned to become an Animagus, but that respect had vanished as that proud and ferocious woman had been reduced to a lapdog (ironic because of her Animagus form) of Dumbledore.

"You do what you deem right, as misguided as it may be, but I'll do what I deem right." We work towards the same goal, and for that I hope to not be enemies. But if you involve or sacrifice innocent people for your little schemes, Albus, we will have a second target besides Voldemort." James said, no longer afraid to speak his name, as they have learned more about how a pathetic little tool he was through Lily's visions of the future.

With that, Lily's new faction gathered up, and mass apparated out of the HQ. Dumbledore was seething on the inside despite his calm exterior. He dismissed the rest of the Order, as for himself...he had to rethink several strategies now. He had to put things back on track for his Greater Good.

Lily, James and Sirius had gathered back in their cottage at Godric's Hollow. He had given the address to the members of the new faction, and they wouldn't be able to tell Dumbledore of it due to the Fidelius. They would gather for their first meeting of their new independant Order that still needs a name. But they were wondering about what to do during thier first meeting.

"Can we all tell them about the visions of the future?" Lily noted. "They may not believe us, and if they do, how do we know Dumbledore or Voldemort would pick it from their minds?"

"Very simple. We make a magical vow so they will have to believe us. The members are required to do the same, and perhaps learn some Occlumency so that the secret is safe. If they take the vows it means that we can trust them with our lives. If they don't we'll have to respectfully let them go." James suggested.

"That can work. I don't want to be like Dumbledore, keeping secrets that may have kept others alive, or put myself on a pedestal above them. No, I want it to be an Order of equals." Lily noted.

"Then you are already doing better then the old barmy coot." Sirius assured them. "He may have been the leader of the Order but he only took the responsibilities that benefitted himself and his twisted vision for the Greater Good. We won't be like that."

"What is the first order of business?" James wondered.

"Sirius, in the visions I saw you could still command Kreacher, so you were not formally disowned by your family, you could still take head of House position. Now is right, without Regulus, and the rest of your family unaware as of yet...It would give us access to the Locket Horcrux and the one in the Lestrange vault." Lily noted.

"It wouldn't put it past my family. Three things they were notorious for were their love of Dark Magic, most of them being blood bigots and that they were awful at paperwork, especially the one to formally cast me out. I will go to Gringotts as soon as I can for that." Sirius assured them.

"The snake Horcrux wasn't created yet, but we need a way to get to the Gaunt shack, the Malfoy Manor and Hogwarts' Hidden Room for the other ones." James pointed out.

"We will find a way. Somehow. I will not allow a future where that Dark Wanker and the Whiskered Old Wanker have the world gone to hell. I will not let a future happen with my baby boy as a sacrificial lamb. Lily said as she turned around, seeing her little baby boy Harry play with the blocks, using his innate magic to levitate them, as the toddler giggled and clapped at what he did.

"We won't let it happen. He will grow up happy, surrounded by people he loves, where he will not be ignorant, and he is prepared. He will have a loving family and has a long and prosperous life." James assured.

"I will gladly put everything on the line to make that happen." Sirius finished.

This marked of a new freedom fighter group, fighting for the future of the Wizarding World.

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Another Plotbunny, not as light hearted as the last one.

I just had this idea that lily recieves visions from the future and doing everything to prevent that.

Despite my disagreements with Dumbledore's methods I was willing to give him benefit of the doubt in some stories and make him not as antagonistic, maybe just misguided or senile. here he seems darker, but I'll say beforehand, this Dumbledore thinks he is doing the right thing, but has gone arrogant and cannot admit he is wrong about something hence his difficulty to work with or dissuade.

That is going to be explored more if I ever continue this. I am quite satisfied with it for the moments though.

Though maybe odd to see Molly, Lupin and McGonagall on the opposite sides of the Potters, in canon those three are loyal to Dumbledore, maybe too loyal to see his flaws. I kept that here, and it would be something different for a change.


End file.
